Nope, no bath yet. I have slept - every other night on average right now. I am almost coping at work (excluding a couple of hours today); there are high points and low points and I was really, really short of spoons today. Many got used up yesterday when Puck when to hospital for chest pain. Thankfully, NOT a heart attack; really, he's just been working himself to the point of exhaustion (no shit, Sherlock).
I texted with Mike a little over the weekend, that was nice. I also went out with Nova and actually felt like I had a really relaxing Saturday. Even Sunday was pretty chill, but when Puck went to hospital on Monday, until he was able to tell me that all was "well" (enough to go home and get more tests later).
Adam has seen me struggle with work, and so much, but let's face it, work is the underlying culprit and now I have a mortgage I can't quit a job that makes me cry like I have been able to in the future. I am really unhappy in this phase of life and I can't wait for it to be over. Once my student loan is paid off, I will get a lot more flexibility. But I'd also like to throw a bit more at the mortgage for a few years after that to give myself a lot of wiggle room once I turn 50. I'm already starting to do job searches so I have some idea as to what I need to do to retrain and be employable in a different industry. If I want to get into workplace training, I need to learn Articulate or something similar. The other option is HR - which is generally a whole other qualification, but if I throw myself into union stuff in my current job, maybe I can use that as a selling point. Now I just have to find the energy to do these things. Ugh.
Mortgage. Death grip. Selling my soul for the next 10 years or so. I wish I knew how to do something else, but I've never sustained any kind of career that would make me worth what I'm getting now. And the worst part is, I love teaching...those who want to learn, even a little bit. But if they actually don't want to do anything, I'm at a complete fucking loss as to how to trick them into it. There's the kid who thinks he's going to be an NBA star when he can't even function as a team member (I've heard from his coach that while he can handle the ball, he can't actually
think - which I see in class, too). I have the kids who just want to go into primary industries - and honestly, I have no idea what such employers actually want. This gives me an idea so I'll just leave this here to remind me to totally make a plan when it isn't bedtime.
I'm going to need another sleeping pill tonight because I embarrassed myself so deeply on Facebook I'll be blushing over this for years to come. My school is doing a fundraiser and I shared the link not realising that they didn't do home delivery for a small fee. Now I owe a friend a trip to Auckland to deliver the goods, or some other expensive work around
I wish the fundraiser was selling ice cream, then I'd just eat it all and reimburse them.