I've been on the receiving end of posts like these and I find them somewhat offensive, because there are significant assumptions being made.
So very sorry to have offended you. However, for someone who has had to deal with the clean-up from a teenage girl reading the banter, seeing the photos/videos of Mommy's "cum slut/anal training," that has ripple effects far beyond what most people would imagine. Clean up is actually the wrong word. Lets just use "deal with."
I get to deal with kids waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares. I get to deal with the time and travel taking them to therapy. Not to mention the costs, thousands of dollars. I get to deal with being called to school because during some date rape video, my daughter burst into tears... not a response they usually see, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
PM me if you want a more detailed list.
Do not assume what the kids can and cannot see. Yes, kids the ages of these are usually pretty perceptive. But they also really do NOT want to know about the sex lives of their parents. Normal couples don't engage in sex acts in front of their children, yet they also do not become eunuchs. It annoys me when people are like, "Hey, you do weird sex stuff. You have kids. Do you do this weird sex stuff in front of your kids?" Do ya think when I was married I was getting frisky in front of my kids? Of course not! Jeez. Why would it be different now? I do not get the sense that either Inthedark or his wife are so completely insensible to parental reality that she's giving him BJs in front of the children.
Here's where your assumptions might be wrong. I have had several conversations with Inthedark via PM. I knew the ages of the children. I also knew that the children were NOT told about their marriage being open, key fact. Both things are similar to my situation. He gave me a brief picture of how the kids relate to their mother, which goes to your point about perceptions.
I think you're right that perception is a key factor. For example, take an extreme, intense, graphic scene, in which you were involved, and your 2 boys might say, "Yeah, that's our mom. No big deal."
However, my assumption is the average kid seeing his mother led naked around on all fours, going through inspection positions, and then, as a sign of their submission, having a strange guy piss into her mouth... my point, my advice was that that stuff doesn't get washed away. It's in there forever.
I would be willing to bet that she is "checking out" of her parental relationships with the kids as much as she is checking out of her relationship with her husband, actually more so, because kids of this age are pretty easy to neglect if they have adequate entertainment. And Dad, who was a soldier, is now so wrapped up in his own mental hell that he's not there for them either. It feels ok because these are kids that can come home, feed themselves, and play... But the reality is both of them know that there is turmoil, and they aren't getting much out of Mom and Dad. Once in a while, one or the other, or both parents (but separately) have a flash of realization that they are neglecting their beloved children, and make some gesture to spend time with them... but not very often. Thing is, they are used to Dad not being very engaged, because he was often gone, or working his very demanding job. Now Mom is disengaged too, on her computer or phone or closeted away dealing with (talking, arguing) Dad.
Now who's making assumptions? Neglect. I was talking about someone caught up with NRE, in a sub frenzy that impairs judgement, which could lead to a mess you don't want.
SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual
RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink
PRICK: Personal Responsibility In Consensual Kink
Who came up with these clever acronyms, and why? Why isn't that just assumed? Why the reminder? Who needs those reminders?
In my conversation with ITD, I gave him a couple examples of impaired judgement. The one mentioned in this thread involved a family trip to a indoor water park. Each kid brought a friend. Funny, my wife actually went on this weekend trip. I don't think she ever went into the water with us. She spent much of her time on a lounge chair near the lazy river on her phone or tablet. Later we found out (via the exchange they had) how bored she was. To which she was instructed to play with herself. (I'm not sure if this was part of getting her public orgasm merit badge or just to kill boredom.)
To you, this might be just another day in the kink world. To me, it was a incredible lack of judgement and respect. I think if she needed that type of thrill, she should have done it on her own. Get thrown out or arrested on her own, not expose the family and their friends to that.
ITD comes back with, "My wife hasn't done anything that bad, but she did get up during my daughters birthday dinner to send naked pix. Really... you know birthday celebrations come once a yr. Pictures of boobs and vaginas are not time sensitive.
It takes one small lapse, one slip, one kid who can't sleep and can hear through heat ducts. Or Mommy passed out drunk logged on to email account or computer.
Odds are, the conversations between Mom and Dad happen, to the best of their ability, outside of the kids' hearing. (In my marriage, it was out in the garage.)
That tends to be the pattern of these things. The kids probably do not know all the sordid details, they just know there's trouble in the air.
I think this was in response to my comment of overhearing conversations. I agree it would be good to have these away from young ears. However, I was talking about Facetime and Skpye with a guy no one knows, with them talking about tasks or punishments.
