Personal Summaries

Hello All,

I am 53, married and recently embarking on the very first true poly relationship.

My wife and I have dipped our toes into the waters of loving and bringing others into our fold from a few casual sex encounters to non-sexual nurturing ones.

We are blessed with an absolutely remarkable and very wise poly woman. The intent here is for a triad but, there is no doubt that the bond of personalities is much stronger between her and I.

This is really the first time that both a romantic aspect and sexual dimension have been present at the same time with someone. As you might guess there are some hurdles to overcome in that and I am looking forward to telling and hearing what others might have to say as I really could benefit from some advice.
 
As I said before, this thread is not the appropriate place for seeking advice or other feedback. Please read the original post. One person, one post, that's all this thread offers. If you need more, start your own thread. Otherwise you will end up disappointed.

Here are a few links you can click on to start a new thread:

After you click on one of the above links, a tab/window should appear with the necessary blank spaces for you to start a new thread. Don't forget to give the thread a title, then write your opening post.

For future reference, if you start on the main page of this site, then click on one of the boards, the next screen should have a "New Thread" button near the upper-left-hand corner. That's your ticket for starting a new thread in any of the boards.

Hope that helps,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
As I said before, this thread is not the appropriate place for seeking advice or other feedback. Please read the original post. One person, one post, that's all this thread offers. If you need more, start your own thread. Otherwise you will end up disappointed.

Here are a few links you can click on to start a new thread:

After you click on one of the above links, a tab/window should appear with the necessary blank spaces for you to start a new thread. Don't forget to give the thread a title, then write your opening post.

For future reference, if you start on the main page of this site, then click on one of the boards, the next screen should have a "New Thread" button near the upper-left-hand corner. That's your ticket for starting a new thread in any of the boards.

Hope that helps,
Kevin T.
Click to expand...

Kevin, respectfully....
"looking forward to .....advice" is not a request for advice anymore than
"I am looking forward to an ice cream cone" is requesting anyone to gimmee an ice cream cone.
Thank you
 
Sorry, my misunderstanding.
 
Since I never did use this thread to make my introduction when I first arrived, I would like to take this opportunity to say:

Hi, I'm Spork. And I would like an ice cream cone...

:cool:
 
LOL, okay.

Well you can have one then! :D
 
BlueShoes - female, 40, recently divorced, cancer survivor (the "we have to talk about this before I take my shirt off" kind), two kids. Been poly all my life. Living and working in Greater Boston.
 
Caribbean Poly

Hey every one. I'm Mike from the Bahamas. I'm a 28 year old straight yogi. I'm married to "A" and we have one daughter "F"...


Poly in the Bahamas has proven to be a challenge every day. Even more so now that we've relocated to an even smaller cay in The Bahamas. Everyone thinks that either someone is lying or that there must be some great divide as to why we've chosen this path.

I'm excited to be apart of a forum such as this and look forward to learning as much info as possible.

Cheers
 
Another new arrival here!

Hello from England, UK. Separated mum of two, mono, just started relationship with poly hetero male. He has several partners and has deep emotional as well as sexual connections with them.
I am new to this and just trying to figure things out. Slightly puzzled by the fact that all of his lovers are mono. Coincidence? Look forward to browsing all the threads here
 
hello from Dunedin, New Zealand

Hi to all,

I'm a 40ish women, bi, solo poly by inclination, although I have only found the word for it in the last year. For much of my adult life I have been very transient due to my work and have very much been a 'comet', but I have now settled (hopefully) in Dunedin, New Zealand.
I look forwards to sharing ideas with like minds here :)
 
Yesterday's goal was registering for the site. Today's is an introduction.

I'm Faladahead. I'll turn 35 tomorrow. I'm a gay man living in the U.S. My husband, Clark, and I have been together for 9.5 years, married 1.5 years ago when it became legal in our state to do so. We have a two-year-old and I'm a SAHD.

For much of our relationship, we have been open to sexual encounters, together or alone, with others, but a couple of months ago, I met someone with whom I've developed something more than the occasional sexual relationship I had envisioned. In retrospect, I think what I'd labeled as an "inability" to be monogamous years ago was really a lack of desire to be, a belief that it was not necessary and instead entirely possible to love more than one. Something big is beginning to make sense in my mind. With a husband and child, it's been an interesting road. I'm still very new and feel bewildered by what I've embarked upon. My new boyfriend, Colin, has had a polyamorous relationship prior, but this is new material for my husband and I. For now, my husband has declined a relationship between the three of us and I'm attempting to balance the two separately. It's been a challenge for me to accept what I'm feeling for both men and take the responsibility for both their hearts, as well as my son's, but for now I'm feeling good about the future. I'm glad to find others like me and I'm looking forward to reading and learning here.
 
I started this thread way back on '09. At the time, I had no notion that I'd read the thing in '16. I didn't have such a long view of it at the time.

Is there some very non-disruptive way we can honor the original intent (one introductory post) while also honoring the fact that we all change -- and our situations change -- over time? I think there is. But rather than making a hard and fast rule about it ("You can create a new posting every five years") I'd like to suggest that if you think your situation is very significantly changed, go ahead and post a new Personal Summary. Just don't do so very often, or simply to indicate that you've recently welcomed a nice little kitten (or puppy) into your family.

I'll update my now very outdated Personal Summery soon. :p Let us please continue the tradition here of not having this space be a place for discussion. Thanks. And thanks kdt26417, for keeping an eye on things here.

[Changing things here is, obviously, an experiment. And I don't pretend to hold authority over any of it. We can perhaps find a place for discussing the experiment elsewhere, if need be (?).]

Peace!:)
 
[I may edit this in the near future.]

I'm a fabulously handsome :D 50 yr young bisexual and bi-amorous (a.k.a., bi-romantic) guy living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA. I've been with my partner, Kevin (also polyamorous) for 20 years. Neither of us has yet found (or been found by) another major love (romantic partner) in our twenty years together, but we're both open to that possibility arising. We've "dated" or "seen" others. But nothing lasting or "serious" has happened. And that's fine.

I used to think more people were poly than actually seem to be. Now I see that we poly folk are relatively rare, and that poly-accepting people also remain relatively rare. This may be especially true for gay and bi men. I dunno. Just seems to be.

I keep learning. Each and every day. Life is uncertain and ever-changing. :p
 
Retired military and long term married.AL,61, Ann,63. In South Georgia. We are very stable and caring.

We are seeking a women to be complete partner in a 24/7 polyamorous relationship. If you like being loved and made to feel special then why not be with a couple that will provide you a caring atmosphere to get pleasure from. We are committed to finding someone who is seeking more and knows what she desires. We want to share our lives with someone who understands what it is to live life and enjoy. Someone who can understand, that we are very serious about this type of arrangement. If you want a special life then consider at least talking to us.

It is harder when you get older finding open minded people that accept this lifestyle. Don't live another moment unhappy, unappreciated, or taken for granted. Take a chance, you may be surprised. We aren't millionaires but are comfortable. We are looking for a person that enjoys life in an open and caring atmosphere. We are looking for someone who wants to be cared for as well as caring for us. We aren't looking for perfect because nobody is perfect.
 
Triads-r-us

Phoul and I met when we were both young teens. He's been the one every since I can remember. Panda and I have known each other since toddler size. Lost connection for about 17 years. Panda and I accidentally reconnected when Phoul and Panda met on a video game called Diablo 2. Phoul decided to go meet with him and hang out, I tagged along as I wasn't feeling very well at the time. The whole way to his house from TN to NC I recall strange instances of deja vu. Once we arrive I immediately know where I am as I have lived there before, a long time ago. I tell Phoul about this and he didn't believe me. Once we meet up with Panda at his mothers house, whom I'll call Frogs, she instantly knew who I was and called me out for being her friends daughter. What started out to be a 1-day trip turned into a 2 week trip. At the end of the trip I offered Panda a place to stay in TN if ever needed, he jumped at the chance and packed his bags.

Fast forward 3 years:
Phoul and I are giving Panda a going away party, he's leaving for the Army 2 days from this day. As the night progresses and I drink more and more, Phoul suggests that I occupy Panda's time. I was baffled, I had never thought of Panda like this as it's our mutual friend and Phoul's expanded family. After a little coaxing I agree to a threesome with Phoul and Panda. Phoul gives up mid way and falls asleep. Panda and I continue. Panda broke the condom pact, I woke up Phoul to let him know and we had a huge fight. Almost ended our marriage. Looking back, I see that this is where the heartache begins.

Fast forward 6 months:
Phoul is sleeping with my best friend, I can't prove it but I can feel that somethings not right. He makes me believe that it's the pregnancy horomones kicking in.

Fast forward 3 months:
After months of suspecting infedility, I walk in on them. Devastated for finding out what I'd known all along. Phoul promises it will never happen again and she's not been heard from since. All of this 3 days before giving birth to two gorgeous boys.

Fast forward 5 months:
Phoul is at it again, the lying, the cheating. Not coming home for days at a time, drug use, physical abuse.
*This cycle repeats itself for 4 years!* <---me being stupid is what it really is. Which leads to me leaving him and going to California. I miss my kids so much! I want to come home, Phoul says he'll change so I return. We make up and all things are good for a few more months. Then it starts again and goes on for 2 more years. It doesn't stop until I was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer then Cervical cancer.

It's at this time that I meet Daisy. We spend everyday together. She's my rock. Helping me through chemo and with my kids. Daisy is petite, charming, kind and a wonderful friend. Even though she's having troubles in her marriage that are un-fixable she prevails. A much stronger person than I am, because she leaves her abuser and files for divorce. Seeing her in pain is one of the hardest things I've ever had to cope with. All I can do is be supportive and love her. On the day that Daisy's divorce is final we went out for drinks with Phoul. Perhaps it was the alcohol or it could have been that we are both very attracted to one another but we start making out at the bar. PDA-HEAVY! So we leave and go back to my place. This happened, then that happened then sleep happened.

For 5 months we were so happy, NRE I know. That's when her brother committed suicide and she moved back to Illinois to help her mother and father cope. I wish she would have stayed, she needed help coping too. We broke up on good terms and agreed to try again when things are better.

Phoul has slowly but surely earned my trust back. He's stepped up and is everything I could ever ask for. I suggest a poly relationship to him one night and take him completely by surprise. He's afraid that it's a trick question and he's going to die if he answers incorrectly. For a couple of weeks we discuss the possibility of becoming a poly couple. He's afraid I'll find someone better and doesn't think he can handle me with another person. After overcoming these fears, 9 months later we move forward with our intentions of becoming a poly-couple.

Panda and I discuss the possibility of being in a relationship together. He's ecstatic over this, having feelings for me for quite some time. Bookworm is not allowed to know, I do not like this personally and should probably discontinue this relationship but I can't seem to do so. I have very strong feelings for this man that's become my secondary. I'm very happy around him, I like the way the three of us can hang out and be besties (Phoul, Panda and I).

Fast forward 1 year:
Phoul has still been unable to find someone. Not even a romantic encounter. This is starting to cause some animosity on his part. I've been on 2 dates and have standing relationship with Panda. His feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy and lack of desire are starting to take a toll on our relationship. We discuss these concerns and agree to talk to a professional about depression. The only kind of "D" that I prefer not to have in my life. (hahahaha)

It's been 1 year since Phoul started taking his medication, he's much better now. He still has some doubts about himself but I reassure him everyday of how much I love and want to be with him. So far so good.

Daisy has returned! She's back in my life. Things are not the same as they were, she was and is majorly depressed over her brothers death. Sadly she turned to illicit substances to cope with the pain. After reconnecting and finding all of this out, we approach the subject of cleaning up her life and she begs for help getting this done. This is something Daisy can not be alone for. Phoul and I discuss this and we ask her to move in with us so that we can help her through this very difficult time. 3 days later she moves in.

It's been 1 week since she moved in. Phoul, Daisy and I are doing well with the living situation. She shares our bed and loves to snuggle. I can tell that coping with her addiction is very hard. She doesn't want to show it but it's there.

This is where I'm at in my life. Happily married and best friends with an amazing woman who needs a little guidance along the way.
 
NYC professional - poly and looking to connect

I am 28 years old and have been in some form of an open relationship for years. I was married for 5 years, divorced, and have had a new poly partner for about 3 years now. I have a serious second boyfriend who considers himself monogamous and does not see anyone else, though he is currently accepting of my primary partner. Looking to connect with others who have navigated these waters.

Share my life stories and current relationship updates at http://www.workinggirlblog.com

Please reply to this thread or send me an email if you are 1) in the NYC area or 2) have been through similar situations and want to connect.

Cheers,

Working Girl
 
I'm a 30 year old man, living in Texas right now. I'm bisexual, but I'd say I'm a 2 or 3 on the Kinsey scale; I'm more attracted to women than I am to men. The right guy can certainly get me hot under the collar, but I'm attracted to a wider variety of women. I'm a musician and fiction writer, and I make a living writing technical manuals.

I'm married to a 29 year old woman, who we'll call Local Bitch or LB (this is an in-joke between us). We've been openly poly for about a month at the time of this writing, but it's something we've discussed for a couple of years. We're currently involved in a quad (or is it a circle? I can never keep these terms straight.) with another poly couple. All of us are sexually and romantically involved with each other, and I think we really lucked out with that relationship. We're also seeking out individual relationships, but that's been harder since LB and I have had more or less intertwined social lives for about ten years. It's been more successful for her so far, but she's a woman on internet dating sites, so that's to be expected.

I'm still learning, but we're all having a great time while doing so!
 
This is all kind of new - and not.

I am a 34 year old woman from Stockholm, Sweden. I live with my long term boyfriend of 7,5 years. I have never had a poly-relation but I've been in love in more than one (or had romantic and sexual feelings) towards more than one person at the same time. And I just recently met a person I think I might have crush on. I have also introduced the notion of poly at home, telling my bf that I believe this is who I am. He knows me really well and knows that I am in touch with my feelings a lot and that I feel a lot. He is not too astrange from this, but I don't know what he would say if I feel that I wanna be with someone else too.

I'm hoping to be able to explore this and this new person in my life. I tried to find a forum in Swedish but it seemed to be offline atm. Hoping to get new perspectives and maybe some friends with the same views of the world.

Thing is I never thought that this could be for me since I an so in touch with my emotions but it hurts to deny this side of me.
 
Just figuring things out

I'm 35 and in Central Texas. I've been married 14 years after dating for 4 months but felt an immediate connections. I've always known I was bisexual but chose to never act on it. I'm currently exploring a possible triad relationship but have my guard up.
 
This is me

I am a bi Cis gender female married to a heterosexual Cis gender male who was my high school sweetheart.
I teacher at an elementary school. He is an artist. We do not swing. We have been together since 1993 and married since 2001. We were open from 1996 to 2000 and decided we each of us and our relationship need some self care. I am a bit Pagan, Buddhist, Quaker, with just a wee bit of New Age thrown in for good measure. He is an Atheist-Buddhist, recovering Catholic, Science geek Theologian. Neither of us believes in a personal God.

Recently we agreed to open the door to our life, hearts, relationship, and bed to another person. We are looking for a woman who will be in a closed equal triangle with us. Everyone we have been interested in is intimated by the length of our relationship and our history.
 
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