Personal Summaries

The little things...

I am 47 years old. I am bisexual but I have had more experience with men than women. I have lived in 7 different states and visited many more. I have recently moved to the northern part of the Midwest.

I have successfully escaped 10 years in an emotionally abusive marriage.

Polyamory has always been a part of my life whether I had a name for it or not. I am only now discovering exactly how I want to have it in my life.

My current partner is asexual, something he didn’t honestly understand about himself or even have a word for until we were already in love and on our way to a new life together. Being a woman in your late 40’s with a partner who isn’t really interested in sex creates a whole new vocabulary for what it means to be dissatisfied.

Currently I am rebuilding me. I am discovering who I am and what I want. It sounds enlightening and magical but mostly it’s just frustrating.

I am trying to get out more but right now I mostly sit in front of this computer. I trying to take more walks. Cook real food instead of emotional hole filling crap. Read. Write. Go back to school? Get involved with my own life. It’s a process, good or bad I am at least taking the steps.

I may be battered and bruised emotionally but I am healing and I am not broken.
 
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New Member ..

Hi all..So a little about me. I am new to the idea of being in a poly relationship..in all honesty I feel like I don't know anything but I am trying to learn..seeking out answers and resources to understand everything that I am learning about myself. I have been "out" for 19 years and I am currently married to my wife of 5 years. A few things have happened recently (in the last 6 months) that have me questioning so many things about my sexuality and what I want. Unfortunately, I know that my wife is not on board with this. My hope is to learn more from this community, make friends, and seek advice at times when I have a thousand questions. That's all I have for now but if you have questions for me you can always ask.. :) I look forward to getting to know everyone!
 
Welcome oldfrnds
It will be an interesting ride for you and your wife if she is truly not on board. Communication will be key. Three years ago I would have said the same thing. We were married for 30 years and doing okay but fortunately we lacked jealousy and we were able to communicate and bring out the fact the we are healthy sexual people and we have fantasies. We are not getting any younger and we don't want to be sitting in a wheelchair as an elderly person with tons of regrets that we did not have the courage to live out our dreams. I know this may sound a bit abrasive but it is what we have told each other.
So Fantasy number 1 for her was to have a younger male partner and to have the option to make love to him or both of us. I of course was also open to another sexual partner whether male or female. This was a good starting point for us but we soon found out that we were not just about the sex. It was a growing point that we desired the need for an emotional attatchment as well. Many people who find themselves to have poly feelings seem to have more love to share than with just one person yet don't leave their initial partner feeling left out.
I don't claim to be an expert but if you can make your wife comfortable knowing that she is not being left out you may have a chance to visit heart to heart with her and put her mind at ease with the thought of at least investigating the possibility of a trial relationship of some sort. Give her the right to veto if needed.
Just a few personal thoughts whether they are right or wrong. Like I said "I am no expert" We have read More than 2 and The Ethical Slut to try to learn from others but I still contend there is no rubber stamp to follow. We have to make our own path
 
First day/First post

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this lifestyle, so it was a relief to find a forum dedicated to poly!

I'm in my 30's, married/divorced one time (monogamously), with kids. I starting seeing my couple about a month ago ... OMG do I ever love it!

I see that this thread was originated several years ago, so I don't know if anyone will actually read it. But I wanted to introduce myself and say "hello", and THANK YOU for existing!
 
A Stoat Summary

Hello, I am 32 and I'm bi...sorry for making that sound like an AA meeting, but I needed an intro, lol. My wife (huntresscalexia) is also bi and we've have been married since we were 18. Like many long relationships, it's had bumps and dips. Thankfully, we've grown together more than apart and we've experienced a lot in our time together. During our relationship we've tried both swinging and poly. Poly is, definitely, what we're about...it was even before we knew what it was, haha.

Anyway, we did have an ongoing relationship with another couple for about 8 months, it's been our only serious go at poly in many years. Sadly, it ended because not everyone was satisfied but fortunately we were able to maintain friendship despite some dashed dreams.

Speaking just for myself here, despite losing that relationship...the experience was worth it and ultimately, it ended the best way it could have. So I'm happy to have learned from it.

On a less dramatic note, we're currently in NorCal but plan to move up near Burlington, WA during the summer. We'd love to develop some poly contacts in the area before moving out there so, if there's any groups for locals please let us know! Our main love interest will eventually (after we're out there and settled in) be solo bi males or fellow bi couples...but friends of any make and model are more than welcome :)

Thanks for reading and best of luck in the new year to everyone!

-Stoat
 
Mara

I am Mara, 47 years old, I live in rural WV. I have been married for 3.5 years. My husband and I are practicing Polyamory and are involved in a long distance Triad (M,F,F). He also has another long distance "date". I am bisexual. I am a gardener, herbalist and animal lover. I Have cats, dogs and chickens. I have a small herbal business and sell my products at a local farmers market.

I am emotionally articulate, sensitive, kind, artistic and spiritual.
 
Hi ^-^

Hi everyone! *Im not sure if i posted this in the right place*
So I haven't had a actual poly relationship but ive been polyamorus for some time now. Just reaching out to everyone to be friendly, I will add more later as i grow in the forum.
 
CK/DaysOfInspiration.

26. F. UK. Bisexual/pansexual/queer. Kinky.

Poly for 8 years ie my entire adult life, but still learning how to do it well. Abuse survivor. Living with my wonderful Primary partner DB, dating FondleBeast & Twister Girl (long distance, also Primaries with each other) and The Artist (local-ish,) and long-distance FWBs with Evil Genius.

I like writing, knitting, reading and organising stuff.
 
Hey everyone - Zavi

Hey everybody,

I'm Zavi, 22y/o cis het male. I'm from Orlando currently living in Gainesville, Florida finishing up my master's.
I've been poly-curious for a while now, and have been listening to Poly Weekly and otherwise doing research for the last year.
I'm currently a student and working as a copy editor/writer. I am an avid musician and I draw comics, I like sci-fi, hiking, and building/fixing things. I have too many hobbies.
 
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Introducing...

So I am not sure if anyone still reads this thread, but I figured its a good place to start with my first post.

I am happy to Answer to Pensive for the purpose of this forum and I am a happily married man of 33 living in South Wales, UK. My wife is 27, and we have been married for over 8 years.

I have been in relationships previously with more than one person at a time but would not consider this polyamory as I was never clear and honest with everyone involved (to my shame) but now at this time in our lives My wife and I have decided that while it may never come to anything we are keen to explore the idea of polyamory.

She (my world) is bi-sexual but has limited experience with woman before we married and since then we have been entirely monogamous. The method of poly that appeals to us we understand to be a triad, where as a married couple we would have a secondary relationship with another woman. I have heard this called "unicorn" in a few places so we are already aware that the odds of finding such a person is very low as it is and even if we did there is no reason to assume compatibility but thats ok, we are a happy couple and won't miss what we never had.

I suppose what we are saying currently is that we are open to forming a close relationship to another person which may one day become physical, but perhaps we are being Naive?
 
I am in a poly triad with me at the point of the V with two men (I am a woman), one to whom I am married (E), the other to whom I will be handfasted later this year (G). My second partner (G) is someone with whom I have had a friendship for some time- we've known each other somewhere around 6 years and been close the past few. Before this, the three of us were spending a considerable amount of time together at the house- suppers after work, movie nights that turned into staying over, staying over due to bad roads...the friendship was very close before G and I agreed to step into this with the blessing of E. The triad is fragile at the moment due to some issues E is having (not just in relation to the relationship- mental health struggles, too). We have been at this for 20 weeks as of this Sunday. We are really trying to figure out the hard stuff we are going through, but it is feeling a bit grim at the moment. I honestly believe that things can be worked through and we have had some long conversations that are inching the three of us forward. Sexual incompatibility with E is a big part of our struggles. We are an odd sort of poly, I admit, and I know that makes it harder to find people to relate to.

This is our first poly relationship. We are all three committed to polyfidelity (we define this as being committed to our family as a whole, but we're probably using the word wrong). E wants more children (my first partner and I have 2, but we are of the mind that in the family, all children are everyone's children). G is unsure of it. I am 32, E is 34, G is 23.
 
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ALorenaE said:
I am in a poly triad with me at the point of the V with two men (I am a woman), one to whom I am married, the other to whom I will be handfasted later this year. The relationship is fragile at the moment. We have 2 children and 3 cats. We have been at this for 20 weeks as of this Sunday. We are really trying to figure out the hard stuff we are going through, but it is feeling a bit grim. I haven't given up on that, though, because I am a stubborn, hopeful fool.

This is our first poly relationship. We are all three committed to polyfidelity. One of my partners wants more children. The other is unsure of it. I am 32, E is 34, G is 23.
Click to expand...

Welcome to the board, ALorenaE.

I am sorry your V is in a grim spot. I am not sure why you are planning on handfasting with your newer partner, if things are grim. I am also not sure why you consider yourself polyfi if one of your men (the newer one?) is seeking a 2nd gf.

Also, it sounds like you 3 are already living together after only 3 months. This is not considered wise. Generally new relationship hormones are still clogging your rational mind for the first year or so. You have rose colored glasses on. It takes time to really get to know someone. Handfasting plans after 3 months seems very hasty.

Would you like to post in the Poly Relationships section about what your troubles are? It sounds like sexual incompatibility with your newer partner but that is not clear.
 
Hi, friends! Sunray here. I'm 38, bi/queer cis female, poly for about 14 years, living in Western Massachusetts. Currently the hinge in a V with my husband of ten years and a long distance love (friends for 20 years, been dating for less than a year).

This is my first poly relationship in a while, since I was focusing for a time on my kid (who is now 7), and some of my relationships had drawn to a natural close right around when the kiddo was born. But! I had managed to stay active in the poly community in the meanwhile, hosting monthly tea meetups with local queer poly women and non binary folks, and online, leading a poly guild on the Habitica site.

Still, having multiple relationships in my life again feels like coming home. My life has been blossoming this past six months! And it's fun to find you folks. :)
 
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Longtime Lurker

Hi Folks!

I'm Chamelia. I have been lurking around on this forum on and off for a few years. I think it's time to come out of the shadows and become more active. :)

I have been interested in polyamory since I learned about it 13 years ago, but have never ended up with more than one relationship at a time. My husband of 11 years is mono, but is supportive of me being poly. I've done so much research and we've had long talks about what it might mean should something ever actually happen. We have two young kids together and no one ever caught my interest more than our little family.

But recently, I am noticing others more and have started to fantasize about what some of these flirtations could become. The groundwork for moving forward is there, if I decide I want to, but it's scary and exciting. Having some poly friends would be wonderful, so here I am!
 
Meggie here. I'm 24, heteroflexible, grey-asexual, and polyamorous. I'm currently in a V that is a few days/weeks from becoming a triad. (they have both told me they like eachother and one told me they're going to ask the other out) I learned about poly in 4th grade when I was watching Glee and my sister yelled "Polyamorous Relationship!" At the TV during the Finn Rachel Quinn drama, and me, being a curious little kid, decided to Google it. I started questioning at 23, and told myself I was poly two months before I got into my first poly relationship.

...

I'm In Love!!!
 
Transplanted to Edmonton where I met a lot of amazing people including my husband and decided to stay.

Poly, or even just co-op living, has been my internal ideal since I was a child. I've lived the vanilla marriage lifestyle for 5 years but I'm ready to try the scary stuff that feels more true to my heart.

After a couple years of talking about it, hubs and I tried poly with good friends that have been partial poly for years. A few months of complicated talks, feelings, and general life stuff, then the poly dynamic fell apart. I'm still working on retaining the friendships and figuring out what went wrong.

Hubs and I are still interested in poly, but we're going to take it slow and investigate/lurk a bit in the community.
 
Introduction

This is hard for me. I am really hoping to find support and to be able to support others here. I've always been mono and have been with the same partner for almost 12 years (we have a 10 year old) who identifies as poly. He has been dating another woman on and off for several years now and I am really struggling with it. I don't know anyone else in a similar situation and I have no idea how to deal with all of it on my own. I'll post more detail in the relationship corner. Thanks everyone.
 
Welcome!

kvb said:
This is hard for me. I am really hoping to find support and to be able to support others here. I've always been mono and have been with the same partner for almost 12 years (we have a 10 year old) who identifies as poly. He has been dating another woman on and off for several years now and I am really struggling with it. I don't know anyone else in a similar situation and I have no idea how to deal with all of it on my own. I'll post more detail in the relationship corner. Thanks everyone.
Click to expand...

Welcome and post away!
For direct experience and help....AL99 and Shaya are Mono's that could probably quickly give you advice if you ask them.
 
One more newbie

Hi,

I'm Naomi. I'm in my late forties, female, homoflexible-to-bi, married to a man, and not currently dating anybody else but our relationship has been open to other partners from the beginning and both of us have had almost exclusively poly relationships for most of our adult lives. This is actually the longest since I began dating that I've gone with only one partner, and it certainly wasn't intentional -- I've just been really busy!

Not really here to deal with a problem or anything... just feeling a little too isolated from the poly world, so I poked my nose in here. On the whole, aside from wishing I'd find another great person to date, things are going pretty well. ;)
 
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