Personal Summaries

pandio_si said:
As a begginers in a polyamory relationship, we actually are living exactly what is described in an article found online (Triad or V - What's More Complicated? by Laura Boyle). As a long term couple, we had some threesome experiences. But those were "experiences," and as we are both bisexual, we had the idea that a triad should be what fit us.

After many years of posting ads on some pages, one day it just happened that he met her. In the months that followed, she just became interesting as a person, and he introduced her to her. In the next few months, things just developed, there were some strange and even embarrassing situations, and in one moment, as a couple, we decided to come out and ask her if she was interested. She was not so surprised; she even thought about that as a possibility, and the decision was: "Let's think about it.".

After that, we had an interesting 2 week vacation where she joined the family (as a friend), and after that, she said yes. So now we are in a triad; we live separately, keep alive the contact and see each other when there are options to do that. Things sometimes are really complicated, we live where that kind of relationship is not accepted, so formally we are friends ... Regardless of everything, we are willing to have this and to find the way through. So for now, let's go step by step.
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I looked up the article:

www.readyforpolyamory.com

Triad or V - What's More Complicated?

I get a lot of people new to polyamory insisting that they must date together, or meet people together, because it "will be less complicated." I see this in comments on social media, on dating app profiles, on couple's profiles on social media (that black and red one that starts with an F...
www.readyforpolyamory.com www.readyforpolyamory.com
 
Hi. My wife and I have been together for 20 years and have recently formalised becoming polyamorous. We're in the UK. I'm getting my head around this new way of living, listening to podcasts, etc. My wife has recently started dating a female friend, so I'm going through what I think is the typical waves of "it's ok" to "OMG is it over for us?" to "am I good enough?" and everything in-between. I'm looking to join a community to go help me unwire my mono hardcoding.

BTW I'm male, 44. She's 38 years old. We have 3 kids and have what I would class as a very solid relationship (we're best friends). I don't know the girlfriend very well but so far all of the advice tells me that I should get to know the girlfriend and build a relationship with her.
 
Hi,

We perhaps have an unusual history. I had a relationship with my live-in girlfriend for a number of months before discovering she had also been sleeping with my son when I was not around. (My son is an adult and is on autistic spectrum.)

We live in the UK.

Long story short, we ended up in a V-triad with my girlfriend as hinge, each of us spending time alone with her, as well as together. But just to be clear, there never has been nor will ever be any incest involved between us. We are also both heterosexual.

We were happy together for over a year but, unfortunately, our hinge was killed in a road accident, so my son and I have been alone since then.
We are just starting to get over the loss and my son is pushing me to find someone new. He seems particularly keen on triad relationships.
 
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My pseudonym is Nick. I'm from Mauritius. I do not look like the real Mauritian, because I'm kinda the old people. After Indians started to colonise Mauritius by British' immigration, the face of Mauritius changed, as did the mentality.

I'm a spiritual and open person. Most here are not. They have their religion, their laws of how to act society according to their beliefs.

I'm kinda single. I am not bisexual. If I have a girlfriend I will love her. For me, love and sex are separate. I can love someone and accept having sexual desire for another guy or girl. Love is something to be shared. It is not a selfish thing. I want to live a life so that we can share love with everyone.

I am 41 but look 31, in very good health. I do not smoke. I am a casual drinker. Guitar teacher into rock n roll.
 
I'm Blain. It's my kink name, but I also use it in ENM settings.

I don't like to think I had trauma as a kid, but I was emotionally neglected by my workaholic father, my chronically depressed mother, and I had health issues as a young child. That fostered a variety of kinks and I developed as an extreme experimentalist kinkster. I married young, right out of college. At one point a few years ago, my friends in an open marriage came out about it. Eventually, they invited my wife and me to check out the scene at a lifestyle club, mostly expecting us to observe. I got interested and wanted to dive in. My wife doesn't, but she's willing to abolish our old agreements and see what we can rebuild together. It will be a process, since we still love each other deeply, are really stubborn about finding a way forward together, and I adore her for being so stubborn.

Since then, I've been educating myself on the ENM world and have a special place in my heart for poly as a big fan of deep platonic relationships. I have always wondered what could come of ethically growing those sorts of relationships beyond the traditional mono-normative boundaries. I'm giving her time, feeding her needs, and valuing our relationship, because I can be a valid person in this new identity and still be saturated at one relationship.
 
I am Rae. I am in NZ. I am a 52F married to a 49M (Gee). We discussed opening our marriage to meet Gee's unmet sexual needs of Gee. This opened up a can of worms of issues. We initially looked at opening up with casual sex, flings, happy endings, lap dances, paid experiences... all of which have been fine. Gee now identifies as wanting/needing a more poly situation. He has a wide circle of poly-accepting friends. My friends are very vanilla and would not be open to this discussion at all, so I have come here to try and get a well-balanced poly perspective. We're also seeing individual and couple's counsellors.

We have a complicated parenting situation and years of anxious/avoidant interactions which we are only just learning to identify and address. I've prepared by doing lots of reading/podcasts, etc., but I always had the lens of the first scenario (casual sex, etc.) and was struggling lot more with the more poly-style needs.

I am committed to doing work on myself and trying hard to navigate through this, all while owning my part in things, but feeling very vulnerable that we may have to say goodbye to our marriage of almost 31 years and look at separating.
 
Im Ryan, 29 married 7 years to my best friend also 29 and we want to explore polyamory. We’re totally fine with the concept of it and I want to explore what I like/dislike in people and hope to gain good relationships through this experience if I ever leave it. I’m straight she’s bisexual. Any red flags I should be aware of besides the ones I already know?
 
Depends what you already know? Like, if you go looking for someone to share, you're likely to get scammed.
 
Ryan94$ said:
I'm Ryan, 29, married 7 years to my best friend, also 29. We want to explore polyamory. We’re totally fine with the concept of it. I want to explore what I like/dislike in people and hope to gain good relationships through this experience, if I ever leave it. I’m straight, she’s bisexual. Any red flags I should be aware of besides the ones I already know?
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If you read all the books and articles and listen to the podcast linked here, you should be pretty well covered. :)

 
Hi, my name is Rebecca, but I go by Becca. I have been bisexual-poly since I was 16, and I am 40 now. I am in Kentucky. I have had more experience with women than men in my lifetime. I tend to lean more towards women romantically and sexually, so I'm not really sure what label to put on my sexuality. I am also autistic.

I was married to a man, but we got divorced a year ago. I have two adult children who live out of state from me.

I am currently in a relationship with someone who is mono, but he knows I am poly and is good with it. There is actually no intimacy in my current relationship, because he is still hung up on his ex-wife mentally, and I have agree to wait. It has been five months since we first started dating and I am beginning to wonder if we ever will reach that point.

I am looking for a girlfriend, and I am open to messages. I am short lol, 4'11", and Puerto Rican. I am quiet, until you get to know me, and a little on the shy side. I'm a wedding officiant, a pagan and a witch. I'm not sure what else to write here lol.
 
Arian
He/they/xi
I am ambiamorous (I think)
Panace
Never been in a relationship
I am mostly here to ask questions and figure out if I really am poly/ambi
 
Hi
Im Mel
30something from Philly but currently in SoCal for 5 years now. I love creating art, painting, drawing, cooking, baking, films, books, nature, history, science, sarcastic wit, deep thoughtful questions, and listening to people talk about their dreams (both their goals and the sleep induced kind)

Currently in a V with Jesse (my partner of 13 years) and Jo (meta and former partner 9 years)
This is a totally weird and new dynamic thats got me feeling sad but also excited to get back in touch with what makes me happy and not feel so lonely anymore.

What was your "win" -big or small- last week?

Mine was meeting the newest generation of red finches on my balcony, the baby birds were cute! And I was able to meditate for 10 minutes without feeling like exploding ✨️
 
Hello lovely humans,

I am Steve or Stephen, I’m 27 from London and I’m polyamorous.

I live with my nesting partner (together for 10 years in August) and our 3 year old daughter. I have another partner with whom I am serious and in love with and we’ve been in a (relatively) long distance relationship with for a year in August.

I also have many other connections- some have being going for years, some for months and some comets too.

Been doing poly for just over 5 years now but still very much learning all the time.
 
I have been in an open relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. The relationship has been open since the beginning, but we have just decided to get serious about ethical non-monogamy and researching polyamory.

This is my first official relationship. We decided to make it open just because of where we were at in life when we met - he had just gotten out of a long monogamous relationship and wanted to try some new things, and I hadn't ever explored this aspect of my life and wanted the freedom to explore it as thoroughly as I choose. This is new to both of us, neither of us has been in a non-monogamous relationship before this although we had been intrigued before.
 
Hello, all!
If the username is too long, call me D, or Dean.
33, been married for 4 years to my nesting partner.
No kids, not currently seeing anyone else because getting out and meeting new people is something I'm currently struggling with.
Bit of a home-body in the Portland, Oregon area.
Pan, and in a place where I can be out and proud.

Found my niche in the poly community after a very rough relationship, during which I did a lot of reading. The hyper focus kicked in, and the next thing I new I was single and exploring the world of polyamory. Ever since I've been a hardcore advocate for mental health and the varied worlds of romance and sexuality.
I tend to be a late nighter on the PST time zone.

I write fiction, usually adventure or romance but I'm trying to expand my collection. I game quite a bit, and tend to be most easily reached on Discord.
Tabletop and board games are also in my repertoire.

Major areas of interest include fantasy, sci-fi, romance, music, and food!

Feel free to reach out!
 
Hi hi 👋. You can call me M.

31yo
Bisexual/Pan
Spiritual but not religious
North Carolina

I've known I was poly for a while, but it has taken time to build the trust and stability in my existing relationship. It's been worth every moment though because now that we're settled and secure, I feel totally supported while I open myself up to possible new connections.

I actually popped onto this forum to get some advice and perspective from others who'd been living in this identity longer. I'm navigating a sort of taboo situation... I'll see you on another thread with that story/those questions!

So glad to have found this community :)
 
I am a retired gentleman living in a rural community in a national forest area of southern Missouri. I have a female partner of 26 years, having met through the Chesapeake Polyamory Network in 1999 when we lived in Delaware. We were active in the poly community at that time and both of us had explored various relationships over a period of those early years. However, our primary loving relationship had always held to be the most stable and consistent, as we still are together today. Unfortunately, due to a series of major medical episodes, she had progressively been rendered severely disabled in 2009. I have always loved and cared for her but have been missing the basic intimacies for those 15 years. This required a long overdue conversation with my partner to indicate that we needed to recognize and resurrect our polyamory life and agreements that brought us together 26 years ago. She is aware of the frustrations' that I have endured in maintaining an exclusive caretaker relationship to her, and realizes that my having a loving relationship to another woman is needed to regain a balanced life for myself. Currently, I have been courting someone online since early March of this year, and who is moving in soon, to begin a relationship with me, while also assisting in my original partner's care. She has not had a polyamorous relationship before now, so this is new territory for her. While this may be an unusual situation for many, we all will face this life issue eventually.
 
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