Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

I have a great bald story for you, but it's one of those things that doesn't translate well over text.
 
happy in the supporting role :)

I'm doing great tonight! I've got Redpepper's son over for the night so she and Polynerdist can enjoy a night completely to themselves. Their son and I get some needed quality time watching movies and just baching it at the OH.

I often mention the need to feel like a positive in their lives, but I often don't. This is one of those times that I get to. I also feel that I can be this to them, regardless of the dynamic, which fills me with a great sense of family and optimism for the future.
 
Wow! We just finished a great weekend of balance and quality time.

Friday night Redpepper's son spent the night and morning at my place, which gave her and Polynerdist some private time, which apparently went very well. Son and I had a fun time watching Bugs Bunny and eating carrots LOL!

Saturday, after dropping my little buddy off and visiting for a while, I met with someone who is an interest of, and interested in Redpepper. She and her husband are good friends and share many of our values, as well as sense of family. She wanted to check in with me and see that we were all doing well. Communication is the key.

Saturday night, Redpepper and Polynerdist invited about 12 of our friends to enjoy a dinner party and we all did our best to participate in earth hour. We ended up staying up talking until 3 in the morning, and I spent the night there, as opposed to our scheduled visit to my house. Sunday we spent the afternoon with another poly couple and their family. After supper with them, Redpepper and I went to my place for the night and had a great time.

Busy busy but very satisfying and we accomplished a lot.

I sense a new awareness arising and am just beginning to accept and understand it. But that's a secret for now.

Peace and love,
Mono
 
I am experiencing the exploration/inclusion of someone new into Redpepper's life, for the first time. The fact that we are all friends is invaluable and so far everything has been pretty smooth. I think one of the biggest advantages is that we all have similar family backgrounds and experiences. We also have similar views about many aspects of multi-partner relationships.

The interesting thing for me now is discovering how I can best support Redpepper as they take this journey. Being from a monogamous background, I have never had to experience this before. I did support my ex-wife when she explored a relationship with a women who was a mutual friend, but the circumstances were much different and the relationship didn't go anywhere.

There's no discomfort in this, but a sense of just needing to listen, to figure out how much I should, and am responsible, to help. How will such a mono mind deal with supporting a new relationship? Will I be a good confidant? Will I be genuinely invested in its success, or will I be merely a shoulder to silently rest on from time to time?

New stuff, but definitely success and happiness.

Peace and love,
Mono
 
MonoVCPHG said:
There's no discomfort in this, but a sense of just needing to listen, to figure out how much I should, and am responsible, to help. How will such a mono mind deal with supporting a new relationship? Will I be a good confidant? Will I be genuinely invested in its success, or will I be merely a shoulder to silently rest on from time to time?

New stuff, but definitely success and happiness.
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Damn, you've come a long way, eh Mono? :) Awesome, dude!

From this, and other posts I've seen from you guys, my biggest concern would be just keeping a connection to time and stress. Taking on too much can get things twisted and confused. But as you say, just "being there" for her to share the good, the bad and the ugly is what we do for each other.

Good luck. Stay tuned.

GS
 
What an amazing weekend! Polynerdist came up with a great idea for a party, visited long-time family friends after a long absence, visited other friends that are simply easy to hang out with and completely accepting, family time with Redpepper's parents and brother, games night with my chosen family tonight, and Redpepper spent two nights at the OH.

Not much left to do but go to sleep smiling. :)
 
I just had an incredibly bonding moment with Lilo. Very few words, so much spoken between us. She told me about how Polynerdist's night out was, and the friendship he is forming, which makes me happy. She is gearing up for a date with a special lady. Life's pretty good.
 
What is new in my little world?

It seems Redpepper's parents are a lot more accepting of our family dynamic.
Polynerdist has been branching out and is wowing us with his social gathering ideas that have opened the pages of our friends stories and interests. Redpepper and Derby have begun exploring a relationship with the utmost care for each other and their partners. They should write a handbook on pacing and communication!
I have found peace in the belief that cohabitation is possible, regardless of the family dynamic we have. (We will always be family.)
I have reconnected with other chosen family and reached a level of depth not expected with them.

Questions have come up that are yet to be answered in some areas. A little mystery is a good thing. ;) I'm confident in some things and a little nervous about others. (What else is new? LOL)

In general, things seem to be pretty good. We are fortunate. I love Redpepper more than ever, in a way that even she doesn't get.

Peace and love,
Mono
 
Yesterday I got to hang out with Redpepper's son while Polynerdist attended a course and she went to the gym. We were playing on the trampoline as they were making supper before heading out and the sun was nice and warm. It was quite the moment really. Natural and full of love.

There has been an energy in the air lately, one that almost feels like a calm before the storm, but this time there doesn't seem to be a storm waiting. Maybe I'm allowing myself to just be, to focus on what is real and not what I think could be real. Or maybe I'm delusional. :rolleyes:

Redpepper seems to be very happy. Polynerdist is energized by new ideas and friendships. Their son was talking to me about our plans to live together with an eager anticipation that conveys how healthy he feels with the people around him. If anyone is a poster child for non-monogamy, it's him. He is a very happy and intelligent child, compassionate and comfortable with his family dynamic.

I'm in a good place, not peaking high with gravity just waiting to pull me down, not hovering in limbo between pain and pleasure, just calm and peaceful.
 
Mono,

You are an inspiration to monos everywhere. I hope to someday be this blissful with my own situation. I know it will take some time, especially being the wife in all of this, but I am working toward that goal.
 
ak2381 said:
You are an inspiration to monos everywhere. I hope to someday be this blissful with my own situation. I know it will take some time, especially being the wife in all of this, but I am working toward that goal.
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Yes, it is different when you're being welcomed into a poly relationship as a mono, vs being asked to open up an existing mono one. Thanks for the kind words. You seem to be setting an example of your own, one which comes from an even bigger place of understanding then mine. :)

Take care.
 
I even got in trouble for trying to deek out of going to the gym because I thought I should make an effort to get the boy into bed. Mono pushed me out the door and said he would handle it.

I got a talking to when I got home about how I am to give up thinking I have to do everything. Essentially, Mono is no longer a guest in our home when he is around.

I even boss him around in the garden now. I had to ask what he prefers to do so that I can be sure that what I think he should be doing is actually what he enjoys. I get bossy in the garden. I am so particular. :eek:

We also had a discussion about what he would fight about with Nerdist, about if they ever fought. We couldn't come up with anything, other than if he hurt me in some way. Same goes for Nerdist. I think he would be the same way. They are so similar these two, yet so different. Their similarities make them good friends, and also makes them understand each other somehow.
 
I got to spend 3 hours with my little buddy while Redpepper and Derby went for a hike and Polynerdist did his own thing. Their son has been complaining about the fact that his mom has scheduled sleepovers at my house. He wants his own regular thing LOL! He was asking for his own Tuesday nights or something. :) Yeah, he's pretty messed up by me being around. :rolleyes:

Polynerdist wrote an awesome short story for his son that I hope he will share with this forum, as it has a great message.

Redpepper coined a new term yesterday: non-sexual swingers (NSS)! It's tongue in cheek for the relationship she and Polynerdist have with a couple. Polynerdist hangs with his wife sometimes and Redpepper hangs with her husband. We all go camping with the kids and it is a natural and comfortable fit for all of us. Anyone who remembers way back can recall I used to feel like a third wheel when we all hung out, but it is not like that anymore. They are the most accepting of our dynamic of all our friends. Redpepepper asked me to babysit her son so she could have a NSS date night with the husband, which made me laugh a little. At one time she would have never asked and I also would have probably became deathly silent at the concept. :eek:

We all seem to feel very secure and can finally take some time to enjoy life with greater consistency. I certainly am. :)

Peace and love,
Mono
 
Definitely need a "like" button here. :D That is awesome.
 
Mono,

What a wonderful note about how you don't feel like a third wheel anymore! That's so awesome.

We're planning our trip more concretely now. :D Getting excited! Very much looking forward to a vacation and meeting all of you!

LR
 
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