Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

I LOVE BEING POLY!

My whole dating life ages 12-20 were serial monogamy, after a couple months together, I wanted some new stuff.
Ever since entering into a poly relationship with my now-fiance, even though I don't currently have anyone on my side and he does, I just FEEL freer!
I don't feel like i'm being judged.
I don't feel like a slut.
And he UNDERSTANDS that it's about loving multiple people, not just sex.
I love that, if I fell for someone else, I could be with BOTH of them instead of having to choose.
Even when I was younger I said I wanted a husband AND wife, and people said you can only have one or the other...
GUESS WHAT NO I DON'T!!
If I love someone I can be with them, if I love two people I can be with both of them!
I just feel like my heart is huge and meant to be shared, I feel like love CAN be kept between two people, if you're monogamous be monogamous, but MY heart is designed to be shared!
I have boundless love that explodes out of me and glitterains beauty over everything <3
 
;) ... yeah, I kind of like that about poly too.
 
Our Journey

Howdy All.

This thread makes my happy. Honestly this forum needs more content about success.

I am a 40 something male in a mfmf quad which started 18 months ago. I love to learn and share experiences and so far, I am the only one in my tribe who wants to do that. :)

For the past 22 years my wife and I have been exceptionally happy together. We have a wonderful family, we are financially secure, healthy, and very loving towards each other. Absolutely nothing to complain about. We have lived a perfect and happy monogamous lifestyle.

Then 18 months ago we fell into a intimate relationship with our very best friends totally unexpected one evening (the other couple are also happily married). We thought we were all completely nuts, scared at first but something about it seemed right and comfortable. The next several months was a roller coaster of emotions for everyone. All of us had challenges overcoming jealousy and possessiveness at different times. But each time we stumbled (sometimes stumbled hard!) we quickly got over it and moved the relationship forward one step at a time, sometimes giant leaps.

Now after 18 months things are absolutely wonderful, loving and supportive. Our families are always together. We share everything, we all have open and transparent communication, kindness and respect. Everyone feels that they have personally improved during this process.

Going through these dramatic changes together, developing together, made this work. It wasn't easy but I cannot imagine my life being any better or more fulfilling as it is today.

Thanks everyone just wanted to share some happiness :)

~S
 
Last edited:
Yes, the forum could use more success stories -- probably because most successful polyamorists don't feel the need to frequent a poly board. They just go about quietly living their blissful/contented lives. So often it's the polyamorists who are in trouble who turn to Polyamory.com for help ... and while I admit that's what we're here for, it's still refreshing to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you Squashking for sharing your story. Sounds like patience and stick-with-it-ness has paid off for you guys.
 
Having a newborn in the house has been exciting. We don't recognize anything we do as different, since we are just a family, so identifying poly vignettes is tough.

However, with the newborn, we have had 3 of the 4 grandmothers over consistently for two weeks. 1 of the grandmothers (our gf's mother) has been very much part of the entire process, having been there for the birth.

Our families accept who we are, what we are and recognize the fact that its an amazing set-up for the health of everyone involved. Not to mention the love flowing.

Seeing Baby J passed around between all of the parents and grandparents has been a blissful experience and I am sure is making these initial newborn stages far easier. :)
 
I hope it's alright if I add my own new success-story :D

A little back-story: I have been attracted to this wonderful lady since I met her a couple years ago, but didn't actually begin forming a friendship with her until last year when she joined our family as my brother-in-law's girlfriend. I had been very upfront with my Life Partner/husband about my attraction to her from the moment I met her, and had also been even more transparent with my bro-in-law since we were both so head-over-heals for her. Bro-in-law and I would even spend time together extolling her virtues when she wasn't around!

After a year of feeling attracted to her (but giving them time to explore their own relationship and become comfortable with each other) I finally took my chances (and maybe a couple swigs of beer for confidence!) and stepped out on a limb. I invited bro-in-law's girlfriend... Let's give her a name, Miss M., over to cut my hair - sneaky, I know! I am a sneaky bastard ;)

Anyway, Miss M. and I had us some girly-time and she cut and styled my hair, and afterword with much hand-wringing and a few deep breaths I proposed a polyamorous relationship with her. We both talked to our primaries about it that night, and explained everything separately.

A few days later we met together for "girl time" while our primaries - two brothers - got to spend time together upstairs bonding over video games. It was so comforting - so relieving - so invigorating! - just to know that while Miss M. and I were exploring each other we had the full support of our life partners and family just a story above us! Of course the physical exploration was divine, but the afterglow which we got to share with our life partners was somehow even better! Compersion is absolutely the best thing ever, and I can't believe so many people live with jealousy instead of this emotion.

Since then I have gotten the chance to talk to my Life Partner and even bro-in-law about it personally, and we've even bumped fists a couple times and given each other nods and knowing winks! Bro-in-law has offered suggestions and advice for my next adventure with Miss M. - which I can't wait to utilize! Bro-in-law and my Life Partner (being brothers) are incredibly close and talk about literally everything together, and so I get to hear through the family grape-vine just how much Miss M. enjoyed herself! My compersion toward Miss M. and bro-in-law has only grown exponentially, and now when I see them nuzzling and cuddling together I can't help but smile to myself, knowing how the love I have shared with Miss M. has only helped cultivate and grow her love and respect for bro-in-law and my love and respect for my Life Partner - if only for the communication and respect shared between the four of us.
 
Here is something sweet.

Ok so this is something that happened to me last night. Please feel free to share your sweet moments after mine ;) (I noticed there was a lot of down posts so wanted to share something a bit nicer.)
Last night I was getting boyfriend started on True Blood, and I needed to go get something upstairs. So I go I get it, and I decided not to turn the light in for the stairs...(this was my great screw up! I'm aware lol!) well I missed the last stair and took a header onto concrete. (Basement) boyfriend came running and did a BRILIANT first aid assessment. And he took care of me and even layed down next to me till I got through the shock of the pain (freaky low pain tolerance here, and I tore something in my left foot for sure. So I wasn't in good shape) then he helped me get upstairs. And he stayed with me and cracked jokes and insisted I eat some chocolate while we watched funny movie reviews (That Guy With The Glasses) till I was able to go to sleep, and he helped me to bed. He has been a real sweetheart and is helping take care of my daughter and dogs today even though he didn't get much sleep. I love him. I really do! And as soon as I can walk again (I'm doing something akin to limping and trying not to fall at the moment lol) I'm going to do something special for him :)

Ok now your turn!
 
Oooh, I like this! And glad you are okay (I hope?)

Well, at the moment he's with family, in a different city. Out on the beach almost every day. And, yesterday, in the middle of the afternoon, I get a picture text from him with him peering over the shoulder of his baby girl, who is resting on his lap, with her head on his shoulder, utterly exhausted. His gaze was focused on me (or where I would've been if I'd been there). It made me feel like I was right there with him. Kind of that split screen effect from movies, if that makes sense. I felt so warm (and I love his daughter so much as well, so it was wonderful to get a picture of her, as well as a second pic of all three of them climbing around).
 
I just updated my blog with this, but here it is again. :)

My husband is in another city, helping his mother cope with the soon-to-be passing of his father. I am feeling melancholy and torn over this.

My boyfriend turned yesterday into an entire day of distraction for me - we went whitewater tubing on the Potomac River, had a nice dinner at a local Thai restaurant, frozen yogurt at a place with a crazy toppings bar, followed by snuggling on the couch, watching Les Miserables in the living room, and then he just held me until I fell asleep in our bed.

This morning he got up at 6 am to take my son to work, and then went back out again to bring him home. Later he is taking me grocery shopping.

Yeah, he's pretty great. This is the poly relationship I have always wanted - comfort, love and support. He's a keeper.
 
My partner has several chronic illnesses, both physical and mental. This means A) he can't hold a regular job and B) almost all the housework falls on me. For understandable reasons, this stresses me the hell out, seriously interferes with my ability to have any other relationships, and puts a major strain on our relationship. Lot of balls get dropped around here, and not in a good way.

Yesterday was my first day off in a while. No paying work to do and a bare minimum of housework--mainly cooking and giving the kid a bath. Without saying anything to me, and while I was getting dinner ready, he got everything together, took the kid into the bathroom and went through the potty training routine and gave him a bath.

When I saw him heading towards the bathroom with the kid and a towel over his shoulder I just stopped and stared. He gave me the sweetest smile and said, "I got it."
 
Here is a text I got from my man who is traveling this weekend:
"LovelyLady, you're something I could've never imagined! I love you more than you'll ever know! I respect you in so many ways you cannot fathom. And I appreciate everything you do for me."

Funny how a few words can make the happy tears fall.
 
I don't have something current, because anyone who's read my blog the past week knows I'm in a very dark place right now.

But I have something Guy said to me a few weeks ago, when I was worried about a situation with a "friend" who was trying to turn him against me, that was so sweet I wrote it on the markerboard above my desk:

"Remember, knowledge is certainty. You know I love you and am with you, so cling to that when fear starts to rear its head."

(Sometimes I think my two men are actually one split in half: Guy is the romantic, emotional half, and Hubby is the logical, almost robotic half.)
 
My metamour (Brother-Husband) picked out some serious B.I. (Bad Influence) for me (Laceys Milk Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies) while he and Snowbunny were shopping (at Trader Joe's) a bit earlier today. I stashed them in the top of my closet. They're mine, all mine! :D

Now that's literally sweet.
 
Right this moment curled up on the couch with Murf. Enjoying our weekend together with the kids and puppy.

Enjoying a quiet weekend at home. Tomorrow to the other house I share with Butch.
 
For those who asked, I tore or massively sprained a ligament in my foot, sprained an ankle, sprained my other foots big toe, ant to top it all off I tweaked both of my knees. LOL I am a hot mess at the moment, and will be for a few days more than likely. But I will be fine, and I can walk (albeit painfully, and worse than Igor from young Frankenstine...at least I know I look goofy and am ok with it ;) ) etc. Though I'm probably not going to be doing any stairs for a few more days ;)

In other awesome news...boyfriend is moving in!!!!! I'm sooooooo excited!!! Though less so about actually clearing out the space lol ;) But if there was ever a reason to get me happy and excited for monster spring cleaning this is it!
 
Glad your boyfriend is moving in. Take it easy on those feetsies, okay?
 
So, this isn't as happy of a success as some of the other ones talked about on this thread, but I feel it is success and deserves to be told.

In October 2011, I started dating a guy that essentially became a co-primary to my husband. I spent about half of my time with him eventually. Last May, he broke up with me. It was incredibly painful, but I worked hard to get over it. I've talked to him some over the last year, but not much.

Last month he broke up with the girlfriend that was a huge part of why he broke up with me. I reached out to him to see if he needed someone to talk to. About two weeks ago (on a Tuesday), we got together. We were going to go out to coffee, but I ended up at his studio apartment to pick him up, we got talking and laid down on his bed to talk. We were both exhausted and fell asleep in each other's arms, which felt incredibly healing. We talked about how neither one of us could do that sort of relationship with each other again, but that it'd be nice to be friends (and occasionally have sex, because I love having sex with him, it's amazing).

The Saturday following that day (the 12th of July), I had a really traumatic experience (along with about a thousand other people, unfortunately). I've been struggling all week with depression and anxiety, triggered by that event and how it relates to my own history. My ex-boyfriend has been one of the biggest supports for me in this past week. He's invited me over to his apartment twice and just held me as I've cried. He's dealt with anxiety for a couple of years, so he's patiently answered my texts and assured me that it will get better. Probably slowly, but it will get better. My husband has had a trip planned for months that he left for Friday night (he'll be gone for 2 weeks. I encouraged him to go because he was there for the trauma also and needs to be able to get on with his life and this is part of it). My ex-boyfriend found out that I was home by myself yesterday and invited me over. He let me stay for hours (this is one of the two times he's had me over in the last week). He made sure I ate, he held me while I slept for a nap.

We'll never be what we were for that year and a half again, but we've managed to rebuild a friendship that has been incredibly helpful in one of the most painful weeks of my life. And that, to me, is a poly success. That we've managed to salvage this part of our relationship that works and that we're able to support each other when we need it (I hope I can return the favor if he needs it).
 
Back
Top