Redpepper's journey

MonoVCPHG said:
That's what every guy says..translated it means "I don't trust any guy enough to keep a secret so I can find out"
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Shhhhh...we don't want to talk about what we were doing last Friday night when you were trying to figure out how to work that zipper :p
 
RP, look how out of control things get on your thread when you take the time to go masturbate! ;):D
 
Well, I do have to keep everyone entertained in order to get alone time. Now I know what you all did :) and you brought some friends!

Sweet.

Wait a minute! That wasn't negotiated. BOUNDARY VIOLATION!
Time for more talks to begin. Gawd, this poly shit is hard!

And don't be reading into that, too! :D
 
Ariakas said:
Shhhhh...we don't want to talk about what we were doing last Friday night when you were trying to figure out how to work that zipper :p
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Anyone who has seen the two of us doesn't even need to ask who was the bottom in that encounter. Size matters, damn it!
 
Okay, REALLY?! Three pages on my thread of joking around! Seriously, I am trying to be serious here. :mad:

Okay, I know it's cause you love me and feel comfortable enough to bug me in this way.

As I try and tell my son, there is bad teasing that relates to bullying, and good teasing that means someone loves and feels comfortable with you... I am trying to teach him the difference.

I feel so loved. :)
 
redpepper said:
Okay.... REALLY?! three pages on my thread of joking around! seriously, I am trying to be serious here..... :mad:

okay, I know it's cause you love me and feel comfortable enough to bug me in this way...

As I try and tell my son, there is bad teasing that relates to bullying and good teasing that means someone loves and feels comfortable with you... I am trying to teach him the difference.

I feel so loved :)
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I'm glad because that's the way mine was meant :).

Mono I'm glad I tickled your funny bone :D, I just hope you weren't drinking anything when you first read it :D.
 
Breathesgirl said:
I'm glad because that's the way mine was meant :).

Mono I'm glad I tickled your funny bone :D, I just hope you weren't drinking anything when you first read it :D.
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I think there should be a cautionary notice on the forum not to have anything in your mouth when reading posts!
 
Derbylicious said:
I think there should be a cautionary notice on the forum not to have anything in your mouth when reading posts!
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Well, those of us who conciously know we're making the pun could put a spray warning in the individual title box that shows each time we write a post.
 
It's the end of a good weekend. I had a much needed date with PN on Friday and we managed not to fight or negotiate any boundaries during it. Mono and I spent time too on Saturday night into Sunday morning.

I love spending time with the two of them. They are both so different, yet similar, and both so themselves. I love them both dearly. I belong to them and they to me.

I also had a walk with Derby, which I was glad to fit in, as it was a busy weekend for both of us.

We had our monthly poly meet last week and the topic was about what our poly vision/dream/ideal is. I was surprised that of all the diversity, everyone there included that they needed to feel a part of peoples lives and be involved with others in the form of a tribe, family, constellation, whatever you want to call it.

I was surprised because I thought, with all the diversity in our community (trans, queer, military, anarchist, straight, disabled, mental health issues, vanilla, white, brown, black, Asian, and beyond), people just want to belong to their peeps. Whoever they were, they were either still looking or were working on what they have. I need to belong, too. It's such a human need.

I felt very fortunate listening to them and realizing that I am part of a wonderful tribe, where I feel I belong and am nurtured to the best of my and anyone else's ability. But I also belong to a community where I can also support and be supported.

I am indeed a very lucky woman. :)

I added this later, as it came up on another thread and I thought it added to what I was saying.

redpepper said:
I found it interesting that everyone at our poly group seemed to have the common goal and basic need to feel like they "belonged." PN and I talked about it afterwards on our date the night after. We wondered why "belonging" was different than having a "relationship," or creating "relationships," as we expected it to be.

It came up because I felt so wonderfully warmed to my community and as if they are all my loves. I feel as if I belong to my tribe and have a relationship with them as a group but also with my outer community locally and then again on here... I feel I belong, yet it's different.

The definitions of both:

belonging: acceptance as a natural member or part, secure relationship affinity

relationship: the state of being connected or related, association by blood or marriage; kinship, the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc.

Is "belonging" simply what comes after a "relationship" is formed? After I feel a kinship and have mutual dealings and feel connected and that I can relate, then I will feel I "belong?" Like I have a secure relationship affinity?

If this is so, then I also want and did want to "belong" somewhere. I wanted to "belong" to my loves, many loves. A whole slew of people who love me, beyond my birth family. I wanted chosen family to "belong" to that would live together or closely, in that I wanted "relationships" with all of them that were loving, rewarding, respectful, connected and ongoing.

I think I have found it and I continue to find it over and over again. Not only have I created the "relationships" I want/need, but I have created the "belonging" I need too. Thanks for being a part of that, all of you.
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Thank you

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all this with us. I can see/feel the pain and joy in everyone involved. Being new to the poly world, this also helps me to realize it's not just me! There is so much to learn. But with each relationship, the dynamics are so different. There doesn't seem to be a "norm" for the poly world, other than communication (and all the regular things for any relationship: respect, love, honesty, etc.).

Again, thank you for your transparency. I hope it's helping you as much as it's helping others!

jane
 
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