It hurt more than it did on day one. I messaged him. He was cold, and distant. He warmed up a bit after a while, we talked. A lot. He was heartbroken, had done some stupid behaviors in his pain. He drank too much, met a woman online, had sex with her within hours, unprotected even!
It felt like a dagger through my heart. Not that he had sex with someone else, but that he was so careless with his sexual health. He said he just didn’t care anymore. Without me, life wasn’t worth living. That struck me. I begged him to make an appointment the next day with a psychiatrist. He did. He wasn’t suicidal, as in not having plans or thoughts, but was certainly not finding any joy in life. I went with him. We talked to the Doc, we talked to each other, we made a solid plan for his mental health, and our relationship. We saw the Doc five days in a row. We made a lot of headway. The bottom line is, I am NOT the child’s Mother. He is NOT my problem. Sarge was very insistent that once J14 turns 18, he’s going to college, military, or out. He will NOT enable him. I also was able to see the progress Sarge (and even TED) has made with J14. The child hasn’t seen an electronic in over a month, and he’s actually doing better. I told Sarge that if I was going to be around J14, rules had to be set in place. Such as when I am there, J14 needs to shower/use the bathroom in HIS bathroom, not the en-suite in Sarge’s bedroom. The kids need to have Clothes On when I am there, not walk around in boxers only, and that he needed to sit down with J14 in my presence and tell him in no uncertain terms that any comments, or inappropriate actions pertaining to me were OFF LIMITS. He immediately put all those things in place, and the last few visits have been perfect.
We went to dinner Saturday night, to our local Italian, kind of “our” place. Halfway through dinner, he tapped a knife on a water glass, quited the place, got down on one knee and opened a box to present me with a GORGEOUS ring. He said he never wanted to live another day without me, and asked if I would do him the honor of spending the rest of my life in his. I of course agreed. So it wasn’t a “proposal” per se, but it was wonderful. Our dinner ended up being comped by the owner, and several people stopped by to comment on how happy they were for us, etc. I love him. So much. I can’t quit him, and never want to.
We are refraining from sex or anything more than kissing until he gets a clean std panel- which he will do in another two weeks- hopefully it’s clean anyway.
Steel is great!! Still seeing the woman from the poly meet, and happy as can be. I am leaving this week for my annual girls Vegas trip and very excited.