Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

MonoVCPHG said:
I hope that came out right. I meant that you are an easy person to welcome. We had a wonderful time chatting with you, RolyPoly.
Click to expand...

LOL! Yes, it came out that way. I actually wrote you a response and then deleted it thinking, "Wait, did he mean that I didn't come across as shy or that people didn't come across as unwelcoming, or...?"
 
A big night!

Redpepper and my ex-wife (legally seperated, to be more accurate) are going to meet for the first time tonight. My ex e-mailed me to ask if there was anything I wanted from the house before she sells it. I had left behind a lot of tools, books, etc. There was no requirement for her to contact me, so I am quite grateful. This has also turned into a great opportunity for Redpepper to meet someone who was the focus of my life for almost 16 good years. (We were married in 1991.)

My biggest fear around this is that meeting Redpepper will add just a little more salt to my ex's wounds. I would do almost anything to avoid that. Her response to my request to bring Redpepper to meet her was very light and she used her name, which carries a lot of weight for me. I didn't sense any animosity in her response. I am sure she knows the full dynamic of our relationship through a friend and Facebook (great divulger of information that it is!).

There is a slight glimmer of hope that in some way this might open up a bit more dialogue between my ex0wife and daughter. But who knows what the outcome will be? I hold a huge amount of guilt and shame over not being able to communicate before losing connection with my ex. As anyone who has read my stuff would know, connection is paramount in my relationships. Add to that the importance of marriage vows and my sense of failure is complete with respect to her.

Where's the success and happiness in this post? The abovementioned glimmer of hope, and Redpepper getting to do something she has been wanting for a long time. I don't know how much chatting will happen between the two of them, but anything is good.
 
Last edited:
That's great, Mono! I'm sorry you feel a sense of failure. I think it's courageous of all of you to meet together. Do your ex-wife and daughter not speak much, or do they not speak much to you?
 
Mono, fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and opens the door to a more peaceful, forgiving future for all of you.
 
Thanks, LR. I answered RolyPoly in a private message, just so no one thinks I dodged the question.
 
Haha! Mono, you're very courteous and never ignore me. :)

Good luck tonight!!
 
We had a good moment last night. I took the night away from the family to be at Mono's side as we went to his old house. after 18 or more months. His ex was there and hadn't seen Mono in about a year. I had never met her. It was a difficult but necessary moment in the direction of a better future for all of us.

I understand a bit more now what my role is in his life and just how important that is to him. He says he loves me more, and last night I could see why he would think that. What he doesn't know is that I love him more for allowing me to see him at his most vulnerable and hurt. Such a precious and pure gift.

We went home quietly after loading up the truck. We were quiet all night and then had a long talk with much emotion and passion. It was all good and brought us closer than ever, if that is possible.

Today is a quiet day of contemplation. There is lots of work to be done, but I now feel a part of that work and what my role is in it. Mono's ex reached out to me last night in the only way she knew how, by allowing me to come to her house. I deeply respect her for that. It couldn't have been easy for her.

This sounds sad, but I have never been happier about that. I had a need to see her and feel who she is by being near her. I got that experience and am very grateful for the information it has given me. It's made me stronger and has made me love Mono more than I could ever express.
 
Sounds like it was one of those "key moments" for you - I'm glad that you could be there with him. Hopefully it achieves some closure of past pain and allows the future to be built better.
 
RP,

I'm glad it went smoothly. I hope it's a beginning for all of you-- her, and their daughter, too. It would be so wonderful for ALL of the heartbroken people from that family to have healing and be able to move on and build happy lives, going forward. :) XO to you and Mono both!
 
I admire most how your love grows during times of vulnerability.
 
redpepper said:
What he doesn't know is that I love him more for allowing me to see him at his most vulnerable and hurt. Such a precious and pure gift.
Click to expand...

One that only you get to see. A gift or burden? Either way, I'm glad you were with me, Lilo.

Polynerdist and I had a great talk about this tonight, as well, among other things. :)
 
Last night, we all got together for nachos and movie night. Redpepper's son suggested it, and it was great to just relax into the evening. After the movie, Polynerdist and I hit a coffee shop for some chat and people watching. We were there for almost three hours, and our discussions covered a broad spectrum of issues. We talked about the impact of Redpepper and my ex meeting, all the way down to the idea of cohabitating. We are similar in many ways, very different in others, but have a very deep and open dialogue. The concept of our family has become almost bigger than the concept of the relationships involved, for me. It's hard to explain, but very meaningful and important.
 
Friday Redpepper and I picked up her custom belt for the upcoming BDSM event. She got a very cool collar and wrist band, as well. I picked up my own wristband, to add just a little to my standard collar and leash. Looks like it will be a great event and I fully intend to get a solid thrashing that will be heard loud and clear!

Tonight we are all watching a movie at her place and tomorrow their son and I will have a lunch date while she goes to her burlesque workshop and Polynerdist hits the poly potluck. Busy busy!

On a side note, her dad came by while we were doing a puzzle with friends. The atmosphere has really changed since her parents got back from vacation. They seem to sense that we are all okay. A new era, perhaps?

Happy times. I just need to work on some of my other crap... patience!
 
Last edited:
Here's to living it with love, family and positivity :) Hope everyone finds their own happy place!
 
I did it!

I told my mom, my stepmom, and most of my staff about being poly. :) I was incredibly worried about reactions, confusion, or possible prejudice, but so far there haven't been any situations I couldn't handle. I'm so relieved. I'm just so happy! My stepmom (bless her liberal tendencies) is intrigued by the whole idea and is anxious to meet my bf! He's not quite ready for the big family meeting just yet, needs a little time to adjust to me being open. Soon I'll be able to introduce him proudly to the rest of family and they will get to know the wonderful, sweet man he is. <3 So happy!
 
Right on, Booklady! This is fantastic news, my friend. :) There is so much freedom in being open. Keep us updated!
 
Friendship

I just had a coffee with Polynerdist, which served two purposes. First, I was looking forward to having some friend time with him, and secondly, it gave Redpepper some much-needed space and her time.

We chatted about his travels in South America and a bit about mine in Asia. Not a word was spoken of relationships. Not that they were avoided, we just don't have a lot to deal with right now. We enjoyed each others company as friends. What more can I say about my evening... what more needs to be said?

I owe Redpepper for a lot of love, support, compassion and friendship. I also owe her for the friendship I have with her husband and son. Thanks, Lilo. I love you. :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top