Is this how it ends? The metamour changes mind about being a Poly couple and this terminates the relationship between the two other people. . . that's a lot of power!? Does this happen often?
I've been just a lurker here for several months, reading a lot on all the topics, trying to get an understanding of the scene. This thread jarred me into registering and writing a first post.
I'm a mid 50's single guy, always have been mono. Last year, I met a women and we had that instant connection - one that was unlike any other either of us have ever felt. She had always been mono and has been with her #1 for 20 years. She has no intention on leaving him, but (due to her sparks with me) they agreed to their boundaries and shifted to a Poly arrangement to allow her to experiment as the hinge, with the known heirarchy of me being her #2.
She and I have been seeing each other weekly and are enjoying all the NRE hormones flowing - feeling love, intimacy, and who knows, maybe just maybe we are soul mates indeed. He (my metamour) says he feels compersion, has kept his insecurities and jealousy in check, and has also been seeking new relationships for himself and I hope he finds one that is as satisfying as what I have found. We've all met and everyone is cool. I feel lucky to be in this relationship with her (them?), but at the same time, there's a foreseeable future out there where it could all come crashing down, totally out of my controls, and for no reason of my own doing . . . because in this newly experimenting Poly couple, the primary metamour could change his mind and ask the hinge break it off with me, the #2.
1. This forces me to live in the moment even more, not entertain dreams/ fantasy about a longer term relationship, and simply enjoy the time she and I have together.
2. What I'm trying to wrap my head around is. . . . if #1 did ask her to end their Poly experiment - and this is something she is embracing and enjoying to the fullest - would that not be the same as asking a person who has "come out of the closet" . . to go back into the closet?
I've been just a lurker here for several months, reading a lot on all the topics, trying to get an understanding of the scene. This thread jarred me into registering and writing a first post.
I'm a mid 50's single guy, always have been mono. Last year, I met a women and we had that instant connection - one that was unlike any other either of us have ever felt. She had always been mono and has been with her #1 for 20 years. She has no intention on leaving him, but (due to her sparks with me) they agreed to their boundaries and shifted to a Poly arrangement to allow her to experiment as the hinge, with the known heirarchy of me being her #2.
She and I have been seeing each other weekly and are enjoying all the NRE hormones flowing - feeling love, intimacy, and who knows, maybe just maybe we are soul mates indeed. He (my metamour) says he feels compersion, has kept his insecurities and jealousy in check, and has also been seeking new relationships for himself and I hope he finds one that is as satisfying as what I have found. We've all met and everyone is cool. I feel lucky to be in this relationship with her (them?), but at the same time, there's a foreseeable future out there where it could all come crashing down, totally out of my controls, and for no reason of my own doing . . . because in this newly experimenting Poly couple, the primary metamour could change his mind and ask the hinge break it off with me, the #2.
1. This forces me to live in the moment even more, not entertain dreams/ fantasy about a longer term relationship, and simply enjoy the time she and I have together.
2. What I'm trying to wrap my head around is. . . . if #1 did ask her to end their Poly experiment - and this is something she is embracing and enjoying to the fullest - would that not be the same as asking a person who has "come out of the closet" . . to go back into the closet?