In the garden

[Evie]

I have a pre-interview phone call this afternoon with a recruitment agency in Australia. I looked the actual contact person up on LinkedIn and he's extremely new to the job, which is probably a good thing as he won't be cynical yet. I have a very specific type of school I want to work at and I've seen some possibilities on this agency's job listings, so fingers crossed.

Puck is going through some major stuff right now. He's at his therapist as I type.

My flatmate is a neurotic flake who is screwing his employer over, although according to him they are screwing him over. This is the third job in under a year that he's found fault with.

And Adam is just ticking along as usual, probably not studying towards his assessment. He's going to find himself in a pinch next year when I withdraw all but 50% of essential house and land costs. But he's very supportive that I go, but still eventually come back. I have the potential to earn enough in Australia that I can save for further afield holiday travel or to afford to work further overseas. I don't want to come back to my small town for a long while, and although I'd consider moving back to home town, I couldn't afford to these days, housing is far too expensive.

 

[CuriousCathy]

pre-interview phone call this afternoon with a recruitment agency in Australia.

That’s so exciting! Good luck!!! Hopefully the newbie agent is also still attentive and will actually *listen* to your required parameters Nothing more annoying than recruiters pushing jobs that are clearly not for you just to tick boxes with their agency.

Puck is going through some major stuff right now. He's at his therapist as I type

that’s pretty tough. Especially when you’re far away. Is that a therapist he’s seen before or a new one?

have the potential to earn enough in Australia that I can save for further afield holiday travel or to afford to work further overseas.

That’s awesome! It’s like stepping stones on a river crossing. I’ve been in the “I’m desperately unhappy at work” earlier this year (before the holiday) and started looking further afield. It was so freeing at the time, just to know I have options. Well sort of, Edgar won’t budge from here - his job is a bit niche and he gets to travel with it

 

[Evie]

That’s so exciting! Good luck!!! Hopefully the newbie agent is also still attentive and will actually *listen* to your required parameters Nothing more annoying than recruiters pushing jobs that are clearly not for you just to tick boxes with their agency.

He sounded like he'd be really open to placing me in the right fit school (which I'd indicated on my CV anyway). A great part with this agency is I won't have to write cover letters for each application. He said my CV was really impressive - I'm not sure how much of that was a sales pitch though.

that’s pretty tough. Especially when you’re far away. Is that a therapist he’s seen before or a new one?

One he's seen before, but by the end of today he let me know he's asked for a referral to a specialist.

That’s awesome! It’s like stepping stones on a river crossing. I’ve been in the “I’m desperately unhappy at work” earlier this year (before the holiday) and started looking further afield. It was so freeing at the time, just to know I have options. Well sort of, Edgar won’t budge from here - his job is a bit niche and he gets to travel with it

I feel lighter for having taken that first step now.

 

[Evie]

It looks like Puck won't be able to visit me this January. I'm upset, annoyed, and sad. Most of it is out of his control, financially. There has just been too much happen in the last year that is insurmountable, for both of us. My finances are about to come right, and possibly his are, too, but it's too little, too late. Neither of us will have the actual savings to be able to see the other. Admittedly, I probably could have if I wasn't going to be moving next year, but staying here is detrimental to my wellbeing. I'm slowly getting things together to be able to go to Australia. I need to find my marriage certificate for evidence of name change next. Sometimes I wish I'd never bloody changed my name, but it was important to me at the time. There's also only so much I can do (actually very little) without being in Australia (and having an Aussie phone number). I'm scared I'm going to be out of my depth, but I really want to live somewhere different. I've done it before, I can do it again for goodness sake.

 

[Evie]

Today, I have cancelled the Airbnb I had booked for Puck's visit, sent my email resignation from my current job (the boss knew it was coming and nudged me about it yesterday so he can start advertising) and even applied to my first overseas job (Australia). Adam and I also did some gardening, and am about to serve a slow cooked dinner that has filled the house with good smells.

I've also calculated that I'll be debt free (besides the mortgage) in about a month.

It's not been the worst day even though Puck and I finally fully accepted that this January won't happen.

 

[Magdlyn]

That's very good progress!

 

[Evie]

Three steps forward and what feels like two backwards today. I'm having a much harder time with life, as often happens on Sundays. I have work to do and I've brought some home to tackle it. It's turned cold, rainy and I'm feeling even more down because of it. Small things are frustrating me today, like the laundry - I've done it, but going to the laundromat and back - and losing a favourite sock, god knows where they end up - has used the vast majority of my spoons. My tinnitus is excessively loud today.

Adam is arguing estate finances with his mother. Puck is slowly coming to the realisation that the biggest thing wrong with his life is the one he's least willing to resolve. I'm just feeling my age today.

I wrote the above then had a nap (or the closest thing to it without actually losing consciousness) and Adam is about to get dinner then go to work, and I'll also do some work, but from the comfort of my room.

 

[Evie]

Job season has started, along with Spring. I have seen two jobs in Australia now - just trying to get my references in order for the one advertised today (I want one from a colleague at my previous employer, for 'reasons') and two in Wellington - both a step up in responsibilities. One, one step up; the other, two steps up. But teachers in my subject are...scarce. And experienced teachers, even more so. I've miraculously passed the 5 year mark in a teaching career, something that western countries the world over are finding hard to find. The majority of teachers are either <5 years or over 20 years. The 20+ year ones don't generally go job seeking, they stay where they are. So that puts me in the desirable range, even for a job beyond my actual skill set. Gulp - what do I do? Apply for everything???? (Rhetorical question - in reality, that's exactly what I will do tomorrow morning).

It's the 1st of September here and officially the first day of Spring. We change seasons with the months, not the Sun, I don't know how that came about. I spoke with Puck this afternoon after work. He wasn't very chipper, but I was, and the energy just didn't match. We'll hopefully have another chat my tomorrow morning but then he's busy all weekend and I'll be working a lot anyway to catch up on all the work I have been avoiding for...ages. Seriously, sometimes I really wish I could get that damn ADHD diagnosis and get some meds (there's no doubt in my mind) or that good old fashioned speed was still obtainable, just so I could get shit done once in a while. I remember, years ago, I was flatting (house sharing) with a few people including a couple who were body builders. One night the chick and I got on the piss (a NZ expression for drinking) and had enough that at the end of the night I was feeling woozy to the point of uncomfortable. She gave me one of her ephedrine pills, which very quickly abated the effects of the alcohol, but just then her bf arrived home and when he saw what we'd been up to he growled her saying "now she'll (me) never sleep tonight". I slept like a baby. Some stimulants relax me and some focus me. Alcohol+ephedrine=sleep. Speed+pinball=high score. Sugar=brain fog and muscle fatigue. Caffeine=some level of focus but no impact on sleep - I can drink coke zero at 8pm and sleep 8 hours. That's it, tomorrow I'll take no-doz pills (caffeine) and hopefully that will be just enough to get my work done.

 

[Evie]

I chose not to apply for the Wellington step up jobs. I am disillusioned with the NZ education system and entangling myself in it even more doesn't appeal, once I slept on it.

 

[Evie]

Debt free today (other than mortgage). Now to save some money for some grand adventures.

 

[Evie]

Puck is slowly coming to the realisation that the biggest thing wrong with his life is the one he's least willing to resolve.

Aaaand there it is. Today, he voiced it, with intent to move towards resolution.

I saw a job in Auckland. I'm thinking about it. Sure, it's not Australia, but it's IGCSE curriculum, so that would be nice. And I could apply for the 1 year fixed term role and then try something different in 2025.

 

[Magdlyn]

You're still considering NZ-- Wellington and Auckland... Hmm. I guess you think you'd have a better life in one of those cities than in your current small town? Use a job in one of those cities as a stepping stone to bigger things.

Wellington population-- 435,000
Auckland population-- 1,695,000

Might be able to find a partner or two with those kinds of odds!

 

[Evie]

Yeah, I'd only stay in NZ if the job was really special. Less interested in new partners right now as I am in an arts/culture scene - I'm very happy to go solo to the opera.

 

[Evie]

School holidays have just begun and I'm feeling the effects already of a shift in source of stress from the daily grind to getting a lot of paperwork done, including job applications both here and abroad. There are actually a couple of really special jobs going so just maybe I'll get lucky.

I've spoken with Puck at length today. I really wish I could be there with him right now, like this holidays, but financially I'm not in that place yet. I'm excited for when I am. I have amused myself by doing budget projections for if I was living in or near Hometown - I could save around NZD$15K in a year. That would be worth it.

 

[starlight1]

Hey Evie,
I'm so glad to hear things are on the up and up with work! That's amazing. Good luck with all your interviews and applications coming up!!

I'm really sorry to hear about things with puck still being stuck, but I'm glad he's working through things. That's awesome.

 

[Evie]

Puck and I have finally had a chance to speak now that he's between festivals (he is an organiser). I enjoyed hearing about the managed chaos parts of his week, and I shared what I'd been up to. Mostly about how I stayed with Tech's widow and we cried a lot.

She's functionally depressed. We both still grieve him - obviously it's more acute for her - but we might yet build something resembling a friendship, she sounds very isolated and lonely. We weren't really able to be friends while he was alive as she had jealousy issues. She knew we used to be fwbs and she always seemed a bit concerned that we still were (we weren't). She was difficult to be around and so Tech and I drifted.

I also visited my parents while I was down there, but didn't have the spoons to see anyone else.

Right, I need a hot, decadent breakfast so I can really get this day underway. I still have a lot of work to do while the students are on holiday and the only way I'm going to get around to it is by sheer force of will.

 

[Evie]

We're into the home stretch at work...8 weeks to go. I'm so relieved to know that next year will be different. I have no job offers yet...three applications are in but no word yet. That might mean I haven't made the shortlist for two (the applications have been in for a while now) but I just put another in a couple of nights ago and the job listing runs for a while yet. It's a one year contract and that would suit me down to the ground.

Puck is in the throes of another festival and I've only had one text saying he had to take Renée to the hospital for a hand injury. I really hope she's going to be okay; it's particularly concerning as it could mean she can't work for a while.

Adam is also back at work but we both have next Friday and Saturday off so we are going to hometown for a night. He has a meeting until late and I'll catch up with a friend after he finishes work. Maybe I'll call the place I've only just applied to and see if I can do a pre-interview visit.

I was upset the other week. I suggested to Puck that if I don't get a job that starts in February that I could come and visit for a few weeks. He said he could only do two weeks. My RSD went into high gear for a couple of days. And then, I bought a new oven instead of plane tickets lol. It gets delivered on Monday. have a lot of other expenses coming up, too. I swear that adulthood is just a neverending list of things that need fixing or replacing.

I've been making some dietary changes, enough that a skirt I haven't been wearing now does up. I've got a long way to go and I need to swap the cigarettes for exercise (I hadn't smoked for 10 years but this has been a shitty year) but I'm aiming to be able to get back into all my size 14 clothes (NZ sizes are different to US sizes). The 12s would be nice, too, but that would be a huge push.

I think I'll do some weed pulling today, probably just half an hour tbh, but I know I'll feel better about the garden if I do. That, and laundry, and all the other adulting things that weekends require.

Adam vaguely seems to be working towards his exam at work, I've honestly stopped caring. I've made it clear that next year I'll contribute half of the mortgage and insurance and other essential costs, but since I'll be paying my own rent somewhere else, he has to figure the rest out himself. If he doesn't have his payrise by then, he could find himself living very frugally. I certainly will be if I end up just doing substitute teacher work.

It's election day in NZ today and if we have a change of government, the country could quite quickly plummet into right wing chaos. It's worrying.

Right, time to get on with the laundry and gardens. There's a spring festival in the next town over and I may go a little later.

 

[Magdlyn]

Good luck with the election (and everything else, of course)! I just heard on Stephen Colbert (the Late Show is back after a half year writer's strike) that more than a dozen states are going to sue so that Trump can't run for reelection based on our Constitution's 14th Amendment, the Insurrection Clause, whereby no one involved in an insurrection can run for office. That seems to describe the Giant Rotten Pumpkin pretty well!

 

[Evie]

I hope those suing States win! There are so many reasons why Trump isn't fit for office, it's ridiculous he still has a chance in the primaries.

I'm devastated to report that our right wing won. We have a coalition system of government and as of last night, two parties (centre right and mid right) could form a majority and keep the far right out because even they understand that the far right party has some policy demands that would alienate the public. It's nerve wracking though, and one of my former partners, Chalk, will lose his job as the new government will dissolve the government agency he works for (they are scrapping Māori support organisations, racist fuckers.) Across all agencies, around 15,000 people are predicted lose their jobs. There will be some big changes in education, too, mostly targeting primary schools.

It angers me that so many votes for absolute minority parties were totally wasted. We really need a Transferable Vote system (rank your preference) so that if their dumb asses want to vote for a party that will not get a seat in parliament, their ranked choices eventually get to a party that will.

I consider myself a swing voter, I have voted centre right before, but that's when the centre left have been in total disarray as a party and I haven't been confident in their ability to govern. But this time, with a centre right led government, I'm deeply concerned for minorities and marginalized groups. And to be scrapping the government agencies that support equitable outcomes for Māori...devastating.

Australia also just voted "No" to enshrining in their constitution, an indigenous government advisory group. ADVISORY. Not even guaranteed seats in parliament, simply a lobby group, and they voted No. I'm sick to death of white supremacy.

 

[Evie]

Puck has finished his latest (and last for the year) festival and I really hope I can talk with him tomorrow, it feels like an age. He doesn't even know about the oven yet LOL. It got delivered this morning and now I just need an electrician to change them over. Adam has asked the neighbour, so we'll see if that happens soon. Our cars are also going in to get their road worthy certificate renewals tomorrow; fingers crossed that will go better than last year (one of the cars cost me around $1200 for repairs). There's going to be a bit of back pay in tomorrow's pay packet but I'm not sure how much it will actually be after taxes and superannuation goes out. I hope I haven't grossly overestimated it. Everything is about money right now. I'd like to get back to a bit of love being front and centre in my life.