Ellamenopea
Member
Laney has been demoted. Steel and I had a long heart to heart about what he was getting from their "relationship" and what he WANTED from a relationship. The disconnect was obvious. He stated she was " much better" this time around and ok with everything. So, I decided to conduct an experiment. ( Admittedly, a childish one, don't judge me!) On Friday night, Steel and I were watching TV, and she was texting him, he was responding. I suggested we each send the following text to our OSO's and see what happened.
"Well, I am going to spend some time with Elle/Steel. Hope you sleep well, good night."
Sarge responded within ten minutes and said
"Enjoy! I love you, good night baby.'
Laney replied an hour later.
She said "k."
Steel tried to play it off that it was totally normal. I just shrugged my shoulders and realized I was not going to get through to him.
Yesterday morning, he decided to ask her if she was upset with him the previous night, as evidenced by her " k." This led to her having diarrhea of the mouth wherein she relayed that she not only had a huge problem, but was very unhappy about it.
She claimed she " Didn't need to know" that he was spending time with me. That he " lives with" me and I get all the " good stuff." yadda yadda yadda.
After a lot of back and forth, she admitted that she was not right for this, and if she met a man who wanted to date her whom was mono, she'd be out. Steel explained that he was desiring to build an N from our already established V with Sarge, and that he agreed, she was the square peg in the proverbial round hole.
She asked if they could remain friends with benefits. He said sure. What man is going to turn down that? Of course, they still aren't having PIV sex, because he does not turn in his sperm sample until July 25. She asked what FWB meant to him, and he said just that. They can say hi, chat, but no more regularly scheduled dates, no more hanging with the kids, no more bubble baths at our home, etc.
She agreed, and asked "Does this mean I won't have to see Elle anymore?"
LOL! I am the nicest, most unassuming person I know. Yes, I may bitch and moan here, but she has never seen me be anything other than gracious and accepting.
So, that's it. I feel fine about it. She now has no expectation other than an occasional roll in the hay, and if she does start acting up, he can just stop doing that. He's also extremely relieved. He is now emotionally available to seeing if he can develop a REAL relationship, spend time with Dimples when the time allows, and no longer has to play mediator. I have told him I would prefer he not date mono moving forward- although I realize that rule will limit his options. Time will tell.
"Well, I am going to spend some time with Elle/Steel. Hope you sleep well, good night."
Sarge responded within ten minutes and said
"Enjoy! I love you, good night baby.'
Laney replied an hour later.
She said "k."
Steel tried to play it off that it was totally normal. I just shrugged my shoulders and realized I was not going to get through to him.
Yesterday morning, he decided to ask her if she was upset with him the previous night, as evidenced by her " k." This led to her having diarrhea of the mouth wherein she relayed that she not only had a huge problem, but was very unhappy about it.
She claimed she " Didn't need to know" that he was spending time with me. That he " lives with" me and I get all the " good stuff." yadda yadda yadda.
After a lot of back and forth, she admitted that she was not right for this, and if she met a man who wanted to date her whom was mono, she'd be out. Steel explained that he was desiring to build an N from our already established V with Sarge, and that he agreed, she was the square peg in the proverbial round hole.
She asked if they could remain friends with benefits. He said sure. What man is going to turn down that? Of course, they still aren't having PIV sex, because he does not turn in his sperm sample until July 25. She asked what FWB meant to him, and he said just that. They can say hi, chat, but no more regularly scheduled dates, no more hanging with the kids, no more bubble baths at our home, etc.
She agreed, and asked "Does this mean I won't have to see Elle anymore?"
LOL! I am the nicest, most unassuming person I know. Yes, I may bitch and moan here, but she has never seen me be anything other than gracious and accepting.
So, that's it. I feel fine about it. She now has no expectation other than an occasional roll in the hay, and if she does start acting up, he can just stop doing that. He's also extremely relieved. He is now emotionally available to seeing if he can develop a REAL relationship, spend time with Dimples when the time allows, and no longer has to play mediator. I have told him I would prefer he not date mono moving forward- although I realize that rule will limit his options. Time will tell.
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