Ari's Blog - Beginning

Ariakas

Bosun
In the winter, Dreamy looks like Grizzly Adams almost. In fact, I thought about calling him Woolly, before I settled on Dreamy. But he shaves it off each April and looks totally different. I like both looks, but I'm partial to the beard, especially when he says he wants to glaze it!

I used to do this but got out of the habit. I used to shave in the spring. But I look so much younger I was getting id'ed everywhere I went..

ummm I stopped shaving it off 4 years ago or so...

I have one pic of myself from then without a beard.. hmmm.. still thinking and considering haha
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Bus booked for a trip to victoria. A much needed break and a good visit with some friends on the island. Its been too long :)
 

inlovewith2

New member
Facial hair--the jokes on me ;-)

I have definitely run into that.. haha

Hi Ari!

A quick note that hopefully will put a smile on your face--I have never liked facial hair, even teased DW that I wouldn't kiss him until he shaved the goatee he grew while on a 2 week vacation with his friends ;-), and now, every man I've dated since we started the poly journey has had facial hair, ranging from only shaving every few days to full grown beard. The universe smiles ;-). I say do what you want to do keeping in mind that yes, it does grow back!

Also, I'm so glad to see that you are re-connecting with those important people in your life, Pengrah foremost among them! If I missed your trip to Victoria, I hope you had/are having a great time!

Hugs,
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Well I decided not to shave, maybe further into the summer. I tend to like my beard haha..I have a few more long trips planned, so I can always find some time to shave and let it grow..

Thanks ILW2.. :).. I leave tomorrow on the trip.. so not quite gone yet ;).. thanks for the well wish, it will be a great time :)
 

inlovewith2

New member
Have a great trip, Ari!

I saw that you were going this weekend right after I sent my message! Have a terrific time!!!!

:D
Christie
 

inlovewith2

New member
So glad Ari!

It's wonderful that you are taking this time for yourself! I hope the rest is a blast too!

Christie
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Fundamental flaw

Focussing on what I have lost/don't have vs the amazing things in my life.

ILW2 - weekend was amazing, I updated in the how are you doing thread.

Now smoking busy with work, and getting ready for the trip to dallas next week.
 

Derbylicious

New member
I think we're all guilty for focusing on what we don't have from time to time, it just makes you human. I'm glad you had a good weekend here and I'm looking forward to the next visit.
 

redpepper

New member
Thanks for the long chat Ari. Hugs to your sweet and lovely Pengrah... It was so good to catch up and really talk in depth about stuff that neither of us have the time to talk about on here. Wouldn't it be great to have a group of us from here sit around and really get at some stuff! It did me no end of good! :) Thanks
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Thanks for the long chat Ari. Hugs to your sweet and lovely Pengrah... It was so good to catch up and really talk in depth about stuff that neither of us have the time to talk about on here. Wouldn't it be great to have a group of us from here sit around and really get at some stuff! It did me no end of good! :) Thanks

You mean like the weekend of the 8th ;)..

That would be lovely, I really enjoy sitting around and talking, it really is interesting getting all sorts of different perspectives... fire side conversation is always a blast.

I just bought some camping equipment at the urging of pengrah.. she is damn excited. She is such a cutey..

*hugs* back from both of us, to both of you.. :) And thanks derby, I know you are right.. :).. knowing is half the battle right? jhahaha
 

Ariakas

Bosun
I am in an oddly calm place. Serene maybe. While I still miss what I had and what could have been.. I feel at peace in many ways. Then again, being smoking busy at work might just be doing it for me.

I have been so busy with work I haven't had much time to "practice" poly. I am not even sure I am cut out for it sometimes. I realize when things happen around me I pull in and protect a bit. I always (and this is for work, life, love) second guess myself and the things I do and have done. Maybe this is how I have always learned and progressed. I am not sure. I am always looking at every aspect like a project manager. A post mortem to figure out where I went wrong and what can be improved. What can I say, I am a geek..

And here is a sports reference for you. Some people do and some people coach. Maybe I am better at talking about it than actually being poly. You see, poly is more than loving more than 1. You still have to figure out relationships, how they work, rules, boundaries.. and than outside of those logical constraints you still have those pesky emotions.

I laugh when I talk to people about poly, and they see poly as being the easy way. Its a simple process to be available. But monogamy is infinitely easier. Having your cake always comes with a side dish of something you may not want. It isn't a utopia.. it takes work, and usually lots of hard work to get to a good place. The more people, the more work etc.. etc..

The biggest .. "thing" I love in non-monogamy is the freedom to meet and encounter new people without restrictions. Its truly the best part of being non-monogamous, and I have met and will continue to meet some great people because of this freedom. The feeling of being caged in, in regards to interacting with new people, would really make me feel locked down.

Pengrah has been amazing in all of my processing. She really is my rock... one of my soul mates. A woman who has learned a lot in this process. We started out as co-dependents (even in our freedom we were still dependent).. she now kicks my ass (in a totally endearing way) and holds me to a higher standard.. (she learned a lot from my ex haha)..

New job, new city, old and new friends.. this kind of a .. reboot has happened a couple o times in my life. 20 years ago making a choice between two girls and picking the women who could help me escape the wrong side of the tracks and 7 years later meeting the newfie girl who would break me out of my monogamous rut and introduce me to a world I would live for the next 14. There are a lot of catalysts this time, lots of reasons to reboot.. but its been long overdo. Now its just time to see what lil ariakas's will look like. (not yet, this is just a big step in the right direction)

Its odd feeling serene and content in a life as hectic as mine. I feel like one of those weird time shot scenes where everyone around me is running around like chickens in their daily life and I have hit some moment where I am standing there and just taking it all in..

Poly for me is a part of me. I know I can love more than one. I am more at peace with that than I have been in the 2 years since discovering it. What comes from being able to love more than one.. no idea..

Ari..
 
Last edited:

SNeacail

New member
This whole post made me smile. Thank you, I needed that this morning.:D

The biggest .. "thing" I love in non-monogamy is the freedom to meet and encounter new people without restrictions. Its truly the best part of being non-monogamous, and I have met and will continue to meet some great people because of this freedom. The feeling of being caged in, in regards to interacting with new people, would really make me feel locked down.

This really hit home. Since coming to this site and learning about poly, I have gained a new sense of freedom to just be who I am and to let my husband be who he is. While we may never fully make the leap into non-monogamy, I no long feel threatened by his ability to meet and form close emotional attachments to women and I no longer feel the need to keep myself at arms lengths from people. I think this freedom can be a key factor in becoming a better person overall.

Its odd feeling serene and content in a life as hectic as mine. I feel like one of those weird time shot scenes where everyone around me is running around like chickens in their daily life and I have hit some moment where I am standing there and just taking it all in..

:D
 

Ariakas

Bosun
I am .. off.. So much going on in my head.. I am settled.. but.. meh...

I need a vacation, THAT I know.. I have a great trip planned to the island next week. It finishes off a trip to Cowitchan bay for work. Its going to be a fun week. But I need, a long vacation.

oh and I need someone smarter than me to book flights, I kind screwed the pooch this time around. To many odd take offs and landings and not enough sleep.. my frugalness got the best of me hahaha..

Hoping tomorrow I can recover from my trip and get in a good ride.. I need some time in the woods, I have been missing my seclusion haha.. a little scaring of thyself is always good for the soul...

Ari
 

Derbylicious

New member
Remind me and I'll put you in touch with my travel agent friend. She's helped me a ton in the past with booking flights. Speaking of travel plans when do you arrive and leave our neck of the woods?
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Remind me and I'll put you in touch with my travel agent friend. She's helped me a ton in the past with booking flights. Speaking of travel plans when do you arrive and leave our neck of the woods?

I will have to get back to you with specifics. I am trying to arrange it into a mini work trip so my travel can be covered. hahah..

:)
 

Morningglory629

New member
I have been so busy with work I haven't had much time to "practice" poly. I am not even sure I am cut out for it sometimes. I realize when things happen around me I pull in and protect a bit. I always (and this is for work, life, love) second guess myself and the things I do and have done. Maybe this is how I have always learned and progressed. I am not sure. I am always looking at every aspect like a project manager. A post mortem to figure out where I went wrong and what can be improved. What can I say, I am a geek..

And here is a sports reference for you. Some people do and some people coach. Maybe I am better at talking about it than actually being poly. You see, poly is more than loving more than 1. You still have to figure out relationships, how they work, rules, boundaries.. and than outside of those logical constraints you still have those pesky emotions.

I hear ya. Especially the hilighted stuff. Often question my POLYness when things are rough, or I need to IMO over-compromise. I get it. I think maybe we are confusing wanting independence and freedom to what degree of poly we are or can handle. Then again maybe I am just a serial monogamist with bouts of sentimentality. Who the hell knows?! Plodding along none the less and enjoying what gifts I have before me.
 

Ariakas

Bosun
I hear ya. Especially the hilighted stuff. Often question my POLYness when things are rough, or I need to IMO over-compromise. I get it. I think maybe we are confusing wanting independence and freedom to what degree of poly we are or can handle. Then again maybe I am just a serial monogamist with bouts of sentimentality. Who the hell knows?! Plodding along none the less and enjoying what gifts I have before me.

I still question myself. What I want.. everything. Not sure where I will end up.

Pengrah has been rocking lately. Making friends and getting close to people. I crack a smile with how easily she becomes friends with people. Almost jealous of how easy it is for her..

I am struggling with new people. Can't find a groove or.. even interest. haha.. lil bumbling fool action going on.
 
Top