Puck's home from his camping trip and feeling very reflective. I won't go into those personal details, but I will say I have asked him how I can be of support when I can't do things like just notice what needs doing around the house and do it. Long distance relationships have yet another version of hard - I literally can't care for him in all the ways I know how. We listen to each other, provide a few words of support or advice, and that's about it tbh. I don't need more from him (on that front), but I can't help but wish I could do more for him.
He's realised that he could be a little more creative during our long (date) calls and has asked me for an inventory of my toy box. We had some fun with rope last weekend, but I'm actually quite sensitive to the jute rope fibres (causes breathing issues) so I'm considering a nylon option. I went to price it up last weekend and the guy at the hardware store asked me what my project was!!! He kindly let it drop as soon as I started going, "um, ahh, err, I can't really say."
I've decided to start coming out on my Insta. There's nothing to post yet, but I've been strategically culling those who it would be problematic sharing any photos I take with Puck when I finally get there. I already have people on there that I've met here and at my old local kink group who know I'm poly, and I'm strategically removing family from my followers. My account is private so I get to approve or deny requests for follow me. I'm honestly quite excited about becoming more authentic. Bring on my USA trip! (Nope, still no tickets, and I'm not even vaccinated. NZ has a very slow roll out).
But I'm feeling so positive about everything again. So positive. Like I have a whole lot of energy I want to release into this positivity!!! Probably a good thing I've joined the gym lol. I'm not expecting quite so much of myself this year, I'd be happy if I start with 3 days a week. There's actually a really inspiring guy down there, and yes, his physique is part of the inspiration, he's beautifully strong and I want to be able to do at least some of what he does and look (sort of) what he looks like. He's young, so he's not the kind of hot to me that Cute Gym Guy from Worktown was, but he's literally inspirational just because I see what he does and get ideas.
But I've also been doing things that I've just seen elsewhere and never been able to try before. Like jumping up on boxes. From the floor to the box, y'know? I did the low one the other day, I don't know how high it is, they aren't marked which is probably good because that way I can't freak out over a number. I stepped up onto a few times until I had a real feel for the height, then jumped straight up a few times to see if I could even have a go at it, then jumped onto it and straight off so I didn't have to try to stick the landing, but then, I landed up there. And again, and again. So on Monday, I graduated up a box. I then discovered that I could change from landing from really heavy, to strangely light. I'm sure physics would say it's exactly the same force, but my shins have a different opinion. So, tomorrow, box 3.
I've (finally) been watching The Bold Type and I'm really enjoying it except they didn't really run far enough with the open relationship storyline, and they glorified the OTT reaction to a kissing a rando. I really hate the phrase, "it didn't mean anything" which they have used twice now, emphatically. HOW RUDE (yes, I'm channeling the Full House vibe, since we're on American TV)! It did mean something! It meant that in that moment there was a deep attraction to that person, that they were hot, interesting, human, and worthy of a kiss. And the excitement of a first kiss within itself! I love first kisses and it's been sooooo long since I've had one. Also, I really wish they would have totally run with a poly storyline with Kat as hinge to Tia and Adena. But I guess that's a bridge too far for ratings (or whatever the modern equivalent is).
Does anyone remember that thread about things that don't exist for poly people? Well, I hope that someone makes that movie I pitched. And somewhere in there that, "it didn't mean anything," is totally dismantled into the value of that moment and how it is actually wrong to dismiss your kissing partner, or yourself, like that.