Re (from LovingRadiance):
Seems like a double standard to me, considering he's talking to the 24-year-old again and, am I remembering right, he was involved with her in the past? Why does he get to fuck other people and you don't? Loneliness is somehow inferior to whatever his reasons are? and of course I know we're totally talking about hypotheticals, while he's treating the hypotheticals like they're reality.
Re (from LovingRadiance):
I don't like that world.
Re:
Well look, that was a long time ago. And like you said, Maca made his own choices to stay with you. He's responsible for those choices.
Is he now acting out of some kind of belated retribution for the affair?
Re:
No -- their struggles are theirs. Yours are yours. No one can truly imagine what it's like in someone else's shoes. They can try to imagine of course, and that's a good thing to do. But they can't pretend to know how successful they are.
Anyway. Things are obviously pretty serious. You are losing both Maca and GG. That makes me deeply sad. And I see that it puts you in a desperate position. You have kids and grandkids who depend on you and caring for them is becoming a hard proposition. Do you have any friends and/or extended family in the area who can help you out at this time?
Are you and Maca legally married? If so, and if you end up divorced, I should think Maca would be legally obligated to provide alimony and child support. It's the only thing that makes sense; you can't be in two places at once.
I don't know how to revive your plans to move and go to school, but I have to think there'll be a way to revive them. There must be some kind of support system for you somewhere. I especially feel like you need a chance to move. I have a sister who lived in Alaska for awhile and she once said, "I could never do it again. I couldn't stand to live through one more Alaskan Winter."
Is there any way you can move out for a short period of time? even for a couple of weeks? enough to decompress a little, and try to figure out your options?
Wow. This is pretty depressing. Even from this far away.
"He's blaming it on me, telling me he will never be okay with someone wanting to fuck other people because they are lonely (even though I didn't even *ask* to fuck someone else)."
Seems like a double standard to me, considering he's talking to the 24-year-old again and, am I remembering right, he was involved with her in the past? Why does he get to fuck other people and you don't? Loneliness is somehow inferior to whatever his reasons are? and of course I know we're totally talking about hypotheticals, while he's treating the hypotheticals like they're reality.
Re (from LovingRadiance):
"I'm so tired of trying to be good enough for a world that I can only be good enough in if I only want one lover."
I don't like that world.
Re:
"I know I fucked up having an affair."
Well look, that was a long time ago. And like you said, Maca made his own choices to stay with you. He's responsible for those choices.
Is he now acting out of some kind of belated retribution for the affair?
Re:
"I hear people say they have the same struggle ..."
No -- their struggles are theirs. Yours are yours. No one can truly imagine what it's like in someone else's shoes. They can try to imagine of course, and that's a good thing to do. But they can't pretend to know how successful they are.
Anyway. Things are obviously pretty serious. You are losing both Maca and GG. That makes me deeply sad. And I see that it puts you in a desperate position. You have kids and grandkids who depend on you and caring for them is becoming a hard proposition. Do you have any friends and/or extended family in the area who can help you out at this time?
Are you and Maca legally married? If so, and if you end up divorced, I should think Maca would be legally obligated to provide alimony and child support. It's the only thing that makes sense; you can't be in two places at once.
I don't know how to revive your plans to move and go to school, but I have to think there'll be a way to revive them. There must be some kind of support system for you somewhere. I especially feel like you need a chance to move. I have a sister who lived in Alaska for awhile and she once said, "I could never do it again. I couldn't stand to live through one more Alaskan Winter."
Is there any way you can move out for a short period of time? even for a couple of weeks? enough to decompress a little, and try to figure out your options?
Wow. This is pretty depressing. Even from this far away.