Not Dead Yet!

opalescent

Active member
I actually get why they require no other medications when doing tests for this particular disease. It's hormonal and all kinds of things affect hormones in subtle and broad ways. None of this stuff seems to be particularly well understood or studied - which I kind of get. The number of variables is too much to do a conventional study.

The thing is that she has done the tests - twice. She's gone off everything twice. They have results for two sets of the same tests.

She went off everything, got incredibly manic and took weeks to get any sort of equilibrium back. I've never heard her that bad before. (I can usually get a sense of her state of mind from talking with her. It was awful.) The drugs take a while to have an effect once off of them for any length of time.

She's not on lithium which is incredibly toxic, so much so it should only be used to get someone out of psychosis.

And that reads like I'm jumping down Tinwen's throat. I'm sorry Tinwen. That's not my intent. I'm a little out of my mind with worry.
 
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Tinwen

Active member
I know that lithium has been used in long-term low doses to treat bipolar, but maybe the world has progressed ;)
And that reads like I'm jumping down Tinwen's throat. I'm sorry Tinwen. That's not my intent. I'm a little out of my mind with worry.
No problem. You're the upset one here, it's not personal to me. Except, I know the feeling that doctors fail - thankfully in no such serious matter.
 

opalescent

Active member
Oh, no you are correct Tinwen. Lithium is still used to treat bipolar. It can be helpful. But, even at a low dose, it is always a threat to harm the liver. So it has to be monitored very, very closely. Beaker found for her that while it got her out of psychosis, the side effects were so horrific that it wasn't really an option for her long term, as a regular treatment. However, there are many more drugs out there now, which wasn't as true 20 years ago.
 

MeeraReed

Active member
I am so sorry that you are going through this, Opal, and I'm sorry that Beaker is going through this. I know how much she means to you.
 

opalescent

Active member
MeeraReed, Tinwen, kdt, starlight1,

Thank you for the kind thoughts and comments. They were heartening to read.

I have access to a support group for people who have friends or family dealing with cancer. My therapist let me know about it. I haven't yet felt the need to go but I might at some point. And I've been talking about it with my friends, and here, of course. That helps - a lot. If I had to keep this to myself, I would go quite mad.

I am more hopeful than I was last week. Beaker went on social media and shamed the crap out of the hospital for not taking her seriously, not treating as a person. She knows quite a few queer and trans activists and they jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. The hospital got nervous about all the bad publicity. She's demanding to work with the actual expert on her diagnosis at the hospital and that the resident and attending physicians who treated her so terribly get some much needed 'treat patients like people' training. It's looking fairly hopeful that this will happen.

In other news, I've put in an offer on a new place. After some counter offering and such, I'm now waiting to see if the owners will take my final offer or not. I have decided that I am still going to get my current place ready to sell, even if the condo doesn't happen. I am so ready to be out of my current neighborhood. So that's very exciting.
 
I am more hopeful than I was last week. Beaker went on social media and shamed the crap out of the hospital for not taking her seriously, not treating as a person. She knows quite a few queer and trans activists and they jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. The hospital got nervous about all the bad publicity. She's demanding to work with the actual expert on her diagnosis at the hospital and that the resident and attending physicians who treated her so terribly get some much needed 'treat patients like people' training. It's looking fairly hopeful that this will happen.

Yay! Such good news. :) And way to go with empowering Beaker to be taken seriously. Nothing is worse than health professionals doing a shitty job on mental or physical health because its not their "purview". Ugh. Had this problem recently with my grans blood thinners because everyone wanted to pass the buck and not be responsible for her going on and off her meds - on the day of her surgery.

I hope that they DO get the training. It's super important to be informed that way and that mental issues doesn't mean we aren't human and to be treated with kindness and respect, and also get our health care needs met. Honestly I think it's a lot more about dismissing issues so they don't get sued and also not enough mental health training. :mad::(
 

opalescent

Active member
I put in an offer on a condo I liked in my city. Unfortunately I didn't get it. Someone else put in a full price offer. I don't think it is worth the price they asked for but, hey, if someone is willing to pay it. So that's a bummer. However, I'm trying to frame it as something else will come along, that would suit me better.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I put in an offer on a condo I liked in my city. Unfortunately I didn't get it. Someone else put in a full price offer. I don't think it is worth the price they asked for but, hey, if someone is willing to pay it. So that's a bummer. However, I'm trying to frame it as something else will come along, that would suit me better.

Househunting can take months! Good luck! I'm sure you'll find something great.
 

opalescent

Active member
I've been all about the real estate lately. I'm still looking for a new place and working to get my current place ready to sell.

I've narrowed my search to condos. I did think about single family homes but it comes down to the fact that I do not want to do home maintenance anymore.

I'm attempting to be patient but failing. There isn't a lot of inventory in my price range. Ugh, I hate waiting for something to happen. Not my strong suit.

There is nothing happening on the dating or relationship side of things. I've been focused on other things.

I'm still technically FWB with SW but, effectively, I think the sexual part of our friendship is over. He really pulled back after I told him I was considering ending that. Admittedly other stuff was and is going on in his life. Work, health stuff, other relationships. We haven't really been connecting much in general and no sex at all lately.

I've pulled back myself. I have not been as open emotionally or sexually as I was when we first rekindled the sexual relationship. However, it's clear there are emotional limits where he won't go with me (or possibly anyone). As critical perhaps, there are now limits for me. I am unwilling to put out emotional or sexual energy and attempt to connect with people who are unlikely or unable to respond and also connect back with me. I can't do that anymore. I tried being open to a variety of people lately and it has not ended well for me. I'm not doing that anymore.
 

opalescent

Active member
so sad

I've been PMing with Oak. He asked me how I wanted to interact if we were at the same event. (We are both active in a local kink community.)

He also offered that I get 'things off my chest' to him about why I didn't want to be friends with him any longer. I don't have any need to do that but I offered to discuss my reasons if he wanted to.

He didn't. Has no interest or curiosity about why. I'm not surprised. I expected it.

But it's just so bewilderingly sad why someone would just refuse to learn anything about why people reacted to their actions. He's choosing to refuse to learn and grow.

Wow, I really missed the mark on assessing his character. Won't make that mistake again.
 

opalescent

Active member
Not a lot poly related going on. Looking for a new place. It’s frustrating as my area has really low inventory right now. There hasn’t been anything in my category at all for a few weeks now. Hoping that changes as we move fully into spring.

I’ve made progress on getting my current place ready to sell. Got a painter started this week, new countertop lined up and handy man work ready to go. I also have an appointment for an estimate on some concrete work. I’m cautiously hopeful I will have this place ready to put on the market in June.

I’ve given some thought to reactivating my OKC account. But I am busy with real estate stuff. And more importantly, I just don’t have the heart to attempt to date again right now.
 

opalescent

Active member
The condo I put an offer in on weeks ago is back on the market!

And more importantly, a two bedroom place in that building will go on the market soon. I'm going to go look at the two bedroom this week.

I am so excited!

Cross your fingers for me!
 
Yay! fingers crossed!
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Hoping for good luck!
 

opalescent

Active member
I liked the 2 bedroom place a lot so I put an offer in. And it was accepted!

I’m moving!! If all goes well, I will be in my new place end of May.

I’m very excited! And a little overwhelmed with what I have to get done in a month.

I really feel like this is a new beginning for me.

Squeee!!!
 

Evie

Well-known member
Congratulations!
 
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