Back to work today (Thursday) and I even had enough energy to keep doing admin after classes ended.
I spoke with Puck quite extensively yesterday, just sharing vignettes of life, nothing really new but just letting the conversation comfortably meander. Now we've stripped away so much of what we were, the loving friendship is much easier.
I've had a random in my alt inbox and it's a little weird talking to someone new. He's assured me he's in the middle of some life changes and he's not hitting on me, yet, but will eventually despite not wanting to being in a LDR, and everywhere from Aotearoa NZ is long distance. I don't see that this will go anywhere but I'm mostly enjoying a new, very surface level conversation. I'm not sure how deep we'll go, he's admitted being in a very transitional time of life and may disappear as quickly as he arrived.
On another note, I've got itchy feet. Not just the, I want to get to see all my friends, itchy feet but the, I want to live a completely different life for a while itchy feet. But I've committed to at least 5 years here so I just need to buckle down and do it, with hopefully a couple of overseas trips along the way to keep the itch at bay. Will I feel too old to do something radical in 5 years? I don't know, I feel older these days, but maybe I'll pause here a while.
Adam would be completely supportive if I took an overseas job for a year. If it paid enough, he could come with me, but I'm not sure he would find work overseas. I'd be more likely to find a higher paying job if after I have more experience. Sometimes I think about teaching in the United States, but r/teaching is fucking terrifying. Is that just Reddit?
Does this seem weird? Would anyone else leave home for a year (with the full support of their nesting partner)? I could go anywhere that would have me. As a 14 year old, my fantasy was to teach in a developing world country. I forwent that for years as my love for other things took over (my first career was still my best, my second, my worst). And yet, here I am, a teacher, wondering if I could live in those conditions at this age. Maybe some kind of splitting the difference... I just gotta feel competent at what I do before I try to go for something filled with such high expectations (most international schools). I guess if I ever do it I'll go through an agency. That'll be new.
I just read the latest HONY story and I wish I had students that I connected with like that guy. These kids don't give a shit and I feel like I'm even less useful to them than I was at a rich bitch school. I miss my girls with their openness. These kids know to hide their damage already. (I don't miss the endless management bullshit at my last school).
Adam has been so loving lately that I feel a little uneasy about wanting more than my life currently is. But then, I can't change it until I'm in a stronger financial position, and that's quite a while away.